Who’s the Codemonkey

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Who’s the Codemonkey

    • Engineer Airhead
      Keymaster

      This is a story about one of our recruiters giving some information to a new recruit.

      Recruiter: Seeing as how you are very willingly to join our army, I must go through the basic regiments and special ranks with you before I can introduce you to the rest.
      But before we start I must warn you, the community has given certain people some interesting nick-names which you might find useful to remember.
      Recruit: What do you mean with interesting?
      You make it sound as if it’s a bad thing.
      Recruiter: Oh, don’t get me wrong. The names themselves are not that bad.
      But people tend to find them a bit confusing in the beginning.
      Recruit: Don’t worry, I’m really good with names and faces.
      So tell me the interesting names and what they do within the community.
      Recruiter: Well… Who’s the Codemonkey, what’s the Scout, I don’t know is the Medic…
      Recruit: Yes, that’s what I just asked you…
      Recruiter: And I’m giving you the answers. If only you would let me finish.
      Who’s the Codemonkey, what’s the Scout, I don’t know is the Medic…
      Recruit: Wait! How long have you been a member of this community?
      Recruiter: A little over 3 years now.
      Recruit: And you still don’t know the names?
      Recruiter: Who’s name?
      Recruit: The Codemonkey.
      Recruiter: Who.
      Recruit: The monkey who writes the code.
      Recruiter: Yes, Who.
      Recruit: I’m asking you!
      Recruiter: And I’m telling you, who’s the Codemonkey.
      Recruit: Don’t ask me! How should I know who the Codemonkey is?
      Recruiter: Because I just told you who’s the Codemonkey!

      Recruit: Look… All I’m trying to find out is, what’s the name of the Codemonkey?
      Recruiter: No. What’s the Scout.
      Recruit: I’m not asking you who’s the Scout.
      Recruiter: Who’s the Codemonkey.
      Recruit: One at a time please!
      Recruiter: Well then, don’t jump roles.
      Recruit: I’m not changing anything!
      Recruiter: Relax. I told you it could be a bit confusing.
      Recruit: I’m only asking you, who’s the Codemonkey?
      Recruiter: That’s right.
      Recruit: Ok.
      Recruiter: All right.

      Recruit: What’s the name of the Codemonkey?
      Recruiter: No. What’s the Scout.
      Recruit: I’m not asking you who’s the Scout!
      Recruiter: Who’s the Codemonkey.
      Recruit: I don’t know!
      Recruiter: He’s the Medic, we’re not talking about him.
      Recruit: How did we get to the Medic?
      Recruiter: You mentioned his name.
      Recruit: If I mentioned the Medic’s name, then who is the Medic?
      Recruiter: No, who’s the Codemonkey.
      Recruit: What’s the Codemonkey?
      Recruiter: What’s the Scout.
      Recruit: I don’t know!
      Recruiter: He’s the Medic.
      Recruit: And back to the Medic…

      Recruit: Okay, let’s stick with the Medic for now.
      Recruiter: Sure. What do you want to know?
      Recruit: Who’s the Medic?
      Recruiter: Why would you want who as the Medic?
      Recruit: What is my Medic then?
      Recruiter: No. What’s the Scout.
      Recruit: You don’t want who as the Scout?
      Recruiter: Who’s the Codemonkey.
      Recruit: I don’t know.
      Together: The Medic!

      Recruit: Okay… Says here that you also have some engineers… Does any of those have an interesting name?
      Recruiter: Why.
      Recruit: Because I would like to know.
      Recruiter: And I’m telling you now.
      Recruit: Then who’s the Engineer?
      Recruiter: No… Who’s the Codemonkey.
      Recruit: I’m not… Stop bringing up the Codemonkey!
      I want to know what’s the name of the Engineer?
      Recruiter: No. What’s the Scout.
      Recruit: I’m not asking you who’s the Scout!
      Recruiter: Who’s the Codemonkey!
      Recruit: I don’t know!!
      Together: The Medic!!

      Recruit: So, about that Engineer…
      Recruiter: Yes, why.
      Recruit: Because!
      Recruiter: Oh, that’s a Soldier.

      Recruit: You know… I want to be an Engineer too.
      Recruiter: So you’ve told me during the enlistment.
      Recruit: I’m really into this whole digital bunker thing and the lore behind it all.
      And the website is looking great too! But sometimes I notice flaws in the Social Media shared posts as well as some of the plugins on the website.
      Being a good member of the community, I get on the forums and send a bug report to who?
      Recruiter: Now that’s the first thing you’ve said right.
      Recruit: I don’t even know what I’m talking about! 

      Recruiter: But it is the right thing to do.
      Recruit: Send the bug report to who.
      Recruiter: Yes.
      Recruit: Now who’s got it and will work on it?
      Recruiter: Naturally.

      Recruit: Okay, if I send the bug report then someone must read it.
      Who reads it?
      Recruiter: Naturally.
      Recruit: Who?
      Recruiter: Naturally.
      Recruit: Naturally?
      Recruiter: Naturally.
      Recruit: So I send in the bug report and it’s being read by naturally.
      Recruiter: No, it’s being read by who.
      Recruit: Naturally.
      Recruiter: That’s different.
      Recruit: That’s what I said.
      Recruiter: You’re not saying it…
      Recruit: The bug report goes too naturally.
      Recruiter: The bug report goes to who.
      Recruit: Naturally.
      Recruiter: That’s it.
      Recruit: That’s what I said!
      Recruiter: You ask me.
      Recruit: The bug report goes to who?
      Recruiter: Naturally.
      Recruit: Now you ask me.
      Recruiter: The bug report goes to who.
      Recruit: Naturally.
      Recruiter: That’s it.
      Recruit: Same as you… Same as YOU!!!
      I send the bug report to who. Whoever he is reads the bug report but got distracted by what.
      What is walking around looking for stuff and bumps into I don’t know.
      I don’t know was drinking tea or whatever.
      Someone else runs though the corridors, because. Why? I don’t know!
      That’s the Medic and I don’t give a darn!
      Recruiter: What?
      Recruit: I said, I don’t give a darn!
      Recruiter: Oh, that’s our Admin.

    • Anonymous
      Guest
    • But what happens when they play baseball?

    • Eldest_Wraith
      Participant

      Read it as that comedy sketch by those two people whom I forget the names of…(thinking one of them is Costello…don’t remember the other name)

    • Engineer Airhead
      Keymaster

      @Firefly They tried it once. But the robots are still picking bits of hamster out of the vents and lighting :/

      @Eldest_Wraith Good inspiration has to come from somewhere ;)

    • @Eldest_Wraith said:
      Read it as that comedy sketch by those two people whom I forget the names of…(thinking one of them is Costello…don’t remember the other name)  

      If I recall it was Abbott and Costello, used to love their stuff, but haven’t seen any of it in quite awhile.

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