King of the Hill

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King of the Hill

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    Huzzah! This shall be the first forum topic I will have created! Now, the goal of this game is to get to the top of an imaginary hill in the most creative way possible, and also to knock the other person off. I shall begin the madness!

    I use the magic seeds given to me to grow a giant beanstalk to climb to the top of the hill! Wizard Powers!

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    I build a nice little house on top of the hill. It would seem that I was victorious in claiming the hill… mainly because no one tried to stop me, but victory none the less! I currently reside on top of this hill, able to practice my yodeling and watch Darkwing Duck in peace. Life is sweet being King of the Hill. :wink:

  • Engineer Airhead
    Keymaster

    I use my “grow a Falcor kit” by just adding water. Fly up to the top of the hill, use my hyper anti-matter gun and blow the beanstalk to smitherines. I then kick you from the hill, and plant a little rock garden that creates 3 giant stone golems to protect the hill.

  • Tech_man_A.Elcoate
    Participant

    using my skills of bordom killing i defeat the golems with post-it notes, since paper beats rock, runing up i throw chuck norris at you and claim the hil as mine, doing a happy dance

  • Oh You! Everybody knows I’m the king of the hill! Get off my hill!

    Hey! It worked!

  • Dr. Gonzo
    Participant

    I walk up to you and ask you if this rag I have smells like chloroform. You sniff it and everything goes black as you fall to the ground. I roll your limp body off the hill and into a near by ditch. This is my hill now!

  • Anonymous

    I get on my tankcat and push you off the hill. My hill now!

  • MarleyCupcake
    Participant

    Robot 32 approaches with an assortment of my “special confections”. After partaking you quickly forget what you’re doing and walk away, muttering to yourself about sprinkles.

    My hill.

  • Anonymous

    I wander back to you, and hit you with my B& hammer. You fly off to LEO. The hill is mine!

  • Col. Bear Sanguine
    Participant

    *Clad in full Viking battle gear, wanders up behind Sgt. Voltor and shoves him down the hill with his shield.* *Draws his sword* My hill.

  • Anonymous

    *Draws BFG, blows Col. Bear into LEO* MY hill!

  • Col. Bear Sanguine
    Participant

    BFG? LEO? What are these contraptions? *Throws Sgt. Voltor at the head of the Midgard Serpent*
    *Surrounds the hill with 2,000 borrowed Einherjar*

    Mine.

  • Anonymous

    LEO=Lower Earth Orbit. How did you get back so fast? And one does not simply Einherjar their way onto my hill! *Calls upon army of Uruk Hai and forces through* Col. Bear loses his head to an orc and the hill is mine.

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    I run at you with a face of determination! Wanting to regain my humble abode on top of the hill! I poke you with a stick and you spontaneously combust, running around panicking until you fall off the hill.

    The hill is now mine! Come at me bros/sis’s!

  • Anonymous

    I regenerate, and fire my drop bear cannon at you, sending you tumbling down the hill. My hill!

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    Sgt.Voltor wants to fight
    Enemy Voltar uses Drop Bear Cannon….its not very effective
    Jade Valor uses Whirlwind! Enemy Voltor falls down the mountain!
    Jade Valor gains 375 EXP!
    Jade Valor is in controls of the hill!

    [End Message] :mrgreen:

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    I fire my Orbital cannon at you.

    Now I am king of the…. crater?

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    “I challenge the laws of nature and reason by summoning the power of destruction. Veluta aim kifa kifa, samda makav. Magna Blast, EXIST!”

    sorry Dermut, but nothing can withstand the power of a well timed anime attack quote :mrgreen:

    Jade Valor now controls the hill…….crater!
    [End Message]

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    I take a shovel and rebuild the hill by replacing all the sand blown away by my orbital cannon, without removing you first.

    My hill.

    He, atleased I clean up after myself and the hill is slightly bigger too.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    after being buried alive i come back as a Zombie and dig my way to to the top with my Swiss army spoon, i then sneak up behind Dermut and yell RUN ZOMBIES! the inertial yell startles Dermut casing him to jump and fall down the extended hill! i then use the hole i was buried in as a fortification to protect my reclaimed hill!

    [End Message]

  • Commander JET
    Participant

    8-O Every-time I come in here…you kids are on mah hill!!
    *takes out giant leaf blower* *you all slide to the bottom*
    >.< get!!! Mine Hill! :mrgreen:

  • Anonymous

    *Uses powerful sub bass from Taurus 3 pedals, Jet falls off hill* MY hill! :mrgreen:

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    My weaponized genetically engineered groundhogs attack from beneath to drag you below to feast on your medulla oblongata.

    My hill.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    recovers quickly and charges the hill with laughing gas bombs strapped to chest. and detonates next to Durmut and his bio Groundhogs cauzing them to all laugh themselves off the hill. but seeing as i am now a zombie i am unaffected by said gas and can prepare without busting a gut……not sure its worth it though. :D

    [End Message]

  • *beams hill to unknown location* MINE NOW

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    Great going Captain! you forgot to beam yourself with it now noone can stand at the top of the hill! Luckily when durmut buried me alive in the hill i left behind a tracking device! i then burrow underground and follow the the tracking signal of the hill and reclaim the hill seemingly without opposition! Thank you Durmut for killing me being an Zombie gives me so many advantages! :-P

    [End Message]

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    But a zombie can’t stand up against my artificial tsunami. Have at ya!

    My hill.

  • You ordered an artificial tsunami but the Acme company sent you the book “The Art Of Fishing Tuna and Salami” and you obviously can’t do much hill claiming with that, go read a book!

    MY HILL aaaaiiiight!

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    after falling down the hill from the Tsunami that never came, i get a bright idea, and create a book canon that fires Pages from Dermut’s Book “the art f Fishing tuna and salami” at The Professor causing scratch damage and Death by 1000 paper cuts proving that you CAN claim the hill with a book :mrgreen:

    Sorry Professor im teaching the class now….on MY new hill! :twisted:
    Zombie Jade now owns the hill

    [End Message]

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    As the new student representative I incite a riot and have the student throw you off the hill without even having to show my face.

    My hill.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    Curse you student rep!!! i retreat and show up with my own class of child ninja samurai! not only do they kick your students butts, but they are so adorable your students wont lift a finger to attack them! :twisted: MUAHAHAAHAHAAAAA!!!!! the hill is mine!!!!! *Cough* and that class is how you reclaim a hill. next lessen is on defending the hill and how to make me a pina colada! :mrgreen:
    come on chop chop! the next attacker could post at any time and im really thirsty!

    [End Message]

  • Switches Jade’s pi

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    Curse you professor! may my Ghost haunt you! *Posseses Professor and forces him to jump off hill!* MY HILL!

  • Lady Grey
    Participant

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn
    I summon Cthulhu and have him destroy you,and take the hill among the chaos.

  • Sprinkles salt on Cthulhu, for which he or she develops a lisp then when he or she asks “Why did you thprinkle thalt on the thummoned all theeing ththulhu?” At which time is laughed off the hill. You, feeling like you must console the squiddy beast, leave the hill so that I may reclaim what is naturally mine!
    MAH HILL!

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    FOOLS! as a ghost i possessed a stray bunny rabbit and hopped away in the midst of the chaos, then mustering my now Ghostly powers, summon the most fowl of creatures!….EXCALIBUR! causing the professor to end up in the fetal position and fall down the hill! MY HILL

    [End Message]

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    I hire the ghostbusters to rid the hill of all ghostly presence and take my rightful place as this hills lord and master.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    hmmmm….well this will be hard to get out of….iv been buried alive, risen as a zombie, then killed again by TV sitcoms, came back as a ghost…but now im stuck in a VACUUM CLEANER!…..iv got it! i challange the Devil to a Disco as my soul as anti, if i win i get my body back…and a crystal disco ball! in a stunning display of radical dance moves i beat the devil and get my body back! and because my Funky Rhythm it too much for mortals to comprehend the ghost busters, and everyone else falls down the hill in a daze!

    MY HILL YEA!*Dramatic dance*

    [End Message]

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    Well because noone has attack in a wile i Throw my own party inviting people from far and wide to celebrate the emperor of the hill! feeling confident in my security i have only minimal protection keeping the party safe, said security is in the form of Bouncers posted at the party entrance! YAHOO Swing jazz for everyone! :D

    [End MEssage]

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    I spike the punch and invite you all to dive off my imaginary divingboard to the equally imaginary pool at the bottom of the hill.

    Several splats later I am on my rightfull seat as King of the Hill.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    i see in my long absence Dermut had overthrown me once again! but be prepared for i have recovered from my long fall, and dig a tunnel under your ill gotten hill, and using the latest in Explosive technology, place a barrel of TNT in the tunnel with a 70 ft fuse and, after retreating light said fuse, the explosion sends tremors all throughout the hill causing Dermut to be deafened and fall off, NOW IS MY HILL! albeit a little shorter than before but it will do :D

    [End Message]

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    Surveying my army of 20.000 Crusaders I give a rousing speech of Shakespearian proportions, before storming the hill and going dark-age on your hide.
    img_3665-border
    I’m King of the hill and got the crown to prove it.

  • Anonymous

    I don my black, spiked armor, slip the ONE RING on my finger, and mount my Nazgul. I fly to the top of the hill, and with one swing of my mace, your army falls with you down the hill. The hill is now mine. :twisted:

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    With my armies scattered and the one ring used against me, I done my green lantern ring, my yellow lantern ring, my orange lantern ring and the rest of the spectrum of lantern rings and with that power, my constructs will soon chase off your Ndazgul with you still in the saddle. Bye Bye.

    King of the hill!

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    well well, this is getting exiting! ok wile durmuts armies where scattered and the sarge keeping him “tied up” i retreat and return with MY army of Templar who eat demons for breakfast, a lantern man should be no match for us now! Especially since fighting the sarge made you weaker.
    FOR THE LIVING!!!!

    [End Message]

  • Lady Grey
    Participant

    Right now all that’s missing is the alien invasion, so I manage to round up a small army of Daleks and exterminate everyone. The hill is mine!

  • You missed me! Surprise attack with giant couch cushions! My Hill

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    Foolish Mortals! I have retuned to regain my condo and get my collection of Darkwing Duck episodes (which you all rudely interrupted me while watching)! Looking over the damage of several armies of crusaders, templars and Daleks all over the place, I know what I must do! Firstly, I hire the strongest warrior of all time to help me regain my beautiful hill! Monty Python and the Holy Grail’s Black Knight!

    He uses his ninja sword skills to slice through the couch cushion barrage and then throws you off the hill. I now have to clean up your giant mess. So I get that giant vacuum cleaner robot from Spaceballs to suck the armies and misplaced spaceships up and fly into the galaxy, eventually ending up out of sight!

    I then expose myself to gamma radiation and turn into the Hulk and lift my house and throw it to a nice Hawaiian Island so that I can visit it later. I then design a thrown and crown and place them on top of the hill. I place the crown on my head, still in Hulk form and sit in my throne. With my Black Knight guard standing by my side, I proclaim this to be enough security. I then stand on my throne and yell to the world, “ALL YOUR HILL ARE BELONG TO ME! I AM YOUR SUPREME OVERLORD! BRING ME YOUR HOT POCKETS!!1!”

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    Having replaced some your Darkwing duck episodes with Homeshopping channel vids, all that’s left to do I watch you run down the hill in sheer terror at their low, low prices for otherwise worthless things.

    My hill

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    Oh ho! But you forgot about the Black Knight still standing guard on top of the hill! He throws the Homeshopping Channel movies off the hill. He then comes up to your face and states, “I’ve had worse!” (which is a quote from the movie if you haven’t watched it (which you should)). He then kicks you off the hill and stands guard on top as I go out and start buying paper towels and alarms clocks for the low prices that the Homeshopping Network provides (thanks for those by the way, those were cheap prices)!

  • Lady Grey
    Participant

    Walks up to the Black Knight and pulls out Cerberus and fires it into his chest.
    Then while I wait for you to return,I practice using the Buster Sword by destroying your T.V and all those blasted Homeshopping Network tapes.

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    I take out my pen and satirize you till you all go away in shame.

    My hill.

  • sergentmichael
    Participant

    i hulk jump this hill and halo gravity hammer your a$$

  • Lady Grey
    Participant

    by the way I have no shame,anyways I use my motified tesla cannon to blast you off the hill and then set a perimeter of tesla cannons around the hill,set to hit anything that tries to come up the hill or move at that matter.(I can turn off the cannons to leave though, because I know the code)

  • Everyone knows Tesla loved pigeons…
    Thus…

    And the rest was history of MY HILL!

  • sergentmichael
    Participant

    im going up a differnt way i take a giant drill and come up from underneith and bam i hit you on the way up so bye bye

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    Ahh i see you all have been busy fighting over my hill in my absence! but as i am back for a wile i think i shall reclaim it. well wile i was away i ran into a kid named Jeremy and found out about a certain super computer….you see it can do many things…like transport you to Lyoko to fight Xana or, and this is my favorite…Return back to the past! well you know whats coming, though you soon will forget it. yes! i tell Jeremy to hit the button and as he dramatically says ” Return to the Past now!” time has been returned to right before killercapybara watched the home shopping channel! i download Xana into his TV using a Satalite and Xana then uses his possessing abilities to take control of Cabybara’s hulk form AND his BlackKnight making them MY personal Guards! and since i am financially broke I am unaffected by any low deals the homeshoping channel can throw at me! GWA!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!! ahhh its nice to be King….KING OF THE HILL!!!

    (Code Lyoko reference if ya dident know)
    [End Message]

  • Lady Grey
    Participant

    throwing time travel into the mix?! Well, I happened to run into a certain doctor after my dealings with the daleks and I happen to get my hands on the TARDIS and go back right before you, Jade Valor, meet Jeremy. Back to the present, the hill is mine once again!

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    So, time travel. Thanks to you guys just posting that, I now have to unravel this giant mess! So, when Lady Grey travelled back, she cancelled out Jade Valor’s mess. So Grey came to the present. So in the present, the last guy who stole the hill was Sergent Michael. So since you didn’t really dispose of him, I can only assume that you guys are playing a game of poker unguarded.

    Okay. So now that that’s out of the way, I can activate my attack! Lady Grey, I don’t think you realized the power of the Black Knight when you shot him the first time! If you have seen the movie, you would know that the Black Knight can survive a great deal! And no one ever disposed of him! So he wakes up from his coma and stands up. He then kicks the poker table off the hill throws you guys down with it. I then return from my journey to the Homeshopping Network and patch the Black Knight up with my discount First-Aid Kit, and then set up my $10 portable DVD player and cook some popcorn. We continue to watch our Darkwing Duck marathon. My hill!

  • Lady Grey
    Participant

    now this is starting to get on my nerves,the Black Knight needs to die! (yes I have seen the movie, one of my favorites)Right, I still have the TARDIS,so I pick up both you and your precious Black Knight and throw you intoa black hole, try getting out of that one! my hill.

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    Tsk tsk tsk Lady Grey. You should learn to identify your holes. That wasn’t a black hole you threw me into! That was a wormhole! I shoot into the wormhole and travel back to the beginning of this whole endeavor, back when I built my cozy condo. Knowing my existence there is a paradox, and that I will disappear after a few minutes, I turn myself into the Hulk one more time and chug my condo on to the island in Hawaii. I tell myself the dangerous things that will happen, and to prepare for the worst. I then give my past self the portable DVD player and Darkwing Duck and say, “Let this be the shining light in the beacon of war and darkness that this will become. Hire a knight, much like this one, to guard you in your slumber.” With that, I hug the Black Knight and thank him for his services. We then disappear into infinity.

    My perspective then transfers into my past self, and then get to work. I hire an architect and build a castle, and hire the French people from the movie.

    They are impenetrable troops that will never fail me! They’re security is top-notch! I also rehire the Black Knight, and let them stand guard. I hire the Knights Who Say Ni to go and get me the TARDIS, which I disassemble and use to power my electricity. I also hire a platoon to punch Jeremy in the face and turn off his computer! After that, they go out and intend to destroy all time machines to ever exist! I then sit down and turn on and intend to finish my Darkwing Duck! My hill!

    EDIT: So, now that this has happened, that means that everything that has happened previously now never happened. It’s gone. It’s in infinity. This is why we never bring in time travel.

  • Lady Grey
    Participant

    I’m blaming The Doctor for that one, he told me it was a black hole. Moving on, I nuke your castle on the hill(no one can survive that) from a safe bunker and then go and find a new hill with a better view in Scottland.

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    Hohoho! Didn’t you forget? I was using the TARDIS to provide the energy for the castle! That thing comes with a shield! And while the nuke certainly did damage, that shield was enough to insure my survival. I crawl out of rubble and look over the field. My hill is no more. And the several miles of landscape devastated by the explosion. I walk over and find the Black Knight, barely living after the blast. “I’ve… had worse…” he proclaims, his breathing slowing down. “I know, Black Knight, I know.” I lift his body and pick up my DVDs. I then pick up the pieces left of the TARDIS and the other time machines that we had destroyed, and use the money leftover from the building of the castle to fly to my condo in Hawaii. I then string together the instruments and create a paradox machine, which allows my house to exist on an alternate plane of reality, where I can reside without interruption and watch my movies in piece with my Knight friend.

    As for the hill, I’ve never been the fan of Scottish hills. Nothing against them, but I’m part Irish.. Those are some quality hills! So, I’m taking a break with my Knight until I finish up those DVDs. So… her hill.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    waking up from what i thought was a weird dream, i look around feeling dizzy, weak, confused…..and wondering only 2 things…..number one! where did the hill go…and number two….where on earth are my blasted boots! so i walk around bare foot until i find a dairy…..capybara’s dairy! that he foolishly had written where he took his condo…and all that had happened in the battle of the hill, me realizing the pain and suffering i endured taking my hill flood back…as well as my battle lust and terrorrocity! i having learned from my future’s past mistakes and now being genera savvy! buy the holy hand Grenade of Antioch, i then call cabybarra’s phone number (which is in the yellow pages!) and backtrace the call while he wonders if it was a prank or not. i then Fly to his hill and using the Holy hand Grenade, pull the pin and count to 3 no more no less, 3 is the number i counted and the number i counted is 3! i then hurling the holy hand grenade at mine foes bloweth up cappybarra and the black knight! the black knight some how surviving i then dig a hole and burrith him in 6 feet of quick dry cement! i then sell cappybara’s entire collection of darkwing duck to random people around the world at 3 cents a pop! i then build a town on the condo with, a barracks, swimming pool, library, 47 different restaurants and a Shinto shrine for absolutely no reason! i then am mayor of said town on said condo and have a highly skilled police force patrolling the streets with tanks, motor scooters, helicopters, and flying broom sticks for once again no reason! i also have 177 AA (anti aircraft) guns that are re calibrated to take out missiles, bombs, even birds that enter a 10 mile radius in MY HILL!!!!! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! lets see how you escape THIS one!! HAHAHAAAA!!!!

    [End Message]

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    Gosh darn it! I didn’t even have the hill! How on Earth did the phone still work! I was in a time bubble! Well smurf. Now there’s a town on my Hawaiian Island paradise, and Lady Grey still has that hill in Scotland. Where the heck am I supposed to go! And my Darkwing Duck! Noooooooooooooo! :-|

    Well, now I got two things to mess with. Okay. Well, first things first. Buy a shovel and dig up the Black Knight. He now literally has only one arm and one leg. Enough to still fight. I then promise the last remaining piece of the TARDIS (that thing got blown up good) to one of the politicians who is an obsessed Doctor Who fanboy. He then spreads negative propaganda about you and gets you impeached! With the gap of power now open, the politicians start having gladiator battles to the death to decide who becomes the new mayor. Through some sort of witchcraft, the Black Knight wins. We then fake a a cockroach infestation to get everyone out of the town. I then sell the property and convert it into a small housing development. With the money, I fly to England and jump into a lake of myth and legend. And then I pull out Excalibur! And of course the Black Knight, being the only living figure from the Camelot era left, teaches me to use it!

    I then fly back to Scotland and find Lady Grey’s hill. I pry open the doors using the legendary sword and throw her off the hill. I decide that our journey has come to an end. Someone has to guard the hill. So I leave the Black Knight with Excalibur to guard the hill. Knowing that he had survived gun shots, nuclear bomb blasts, and Holy Hand Grenades, I thought that he would be able to handle himself.

    By this point, the small town has turned into an empire! Making me millions! I now have the money to start my own science industry which I decide to call Apreture Science, under the pen-name Cave Johnson. I then commission my company to build my space rocket/drill/submarine! As they are building that, I head to the store and pick up a copy of Jackie Chan Adventures on Blu-Ray. I need something to replace my Darkwing Duck! After some good-byes, I pack up my belongings and fly into the cosmos. After a while, I land on Jupiter’s Moon Europa! I drill into it’s surface and into it’s ocean, and deploy my automatic water-proof house. I use the portal gun my company created and a water wheel to give my self infinite power. I sit down and turn on my TV and watch my movies. I then grab one of the aquatic aliens that live there and eat it. Alien isn’t that bad. So now hopefully I can live in peace and not have to worry about people bothering me. Europa really doesn’t have any hills. It’s one of the smoothest bodies in the solar system!

    So… BLACK KNIGHT’S HILL!

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    Nice one capybara! i couldn’t possibly harm Jacky Chan adventures! but now that hes out of the way, i must get back my City! i made the mistake of allowing it to be a democracy but NO MORE! when next i get into my office it will be converted into a throne where i will rule it all! and i also must take that hill! i also knowing a few thing about portals apply to work at Black Mesa! i become great palls with Gorden Freeman who although our conversations are always short him not every saying much and all.
    I still being genera savvy alert him and the facility of what happens, them still wanting to go on with their research and all decide to test it in a better location, i suggest my city and so everything goes horribly wrong and portals open up all over my city causing the well known Cascade Theory, then Gordan and I kick alien backside, shutdown the portals and reclaim my city, where we are hailed as heroes and i become Emperor of my city! and with the Black Mesa research facility still intact they can learn from their mistakes and with me and my empire funding them they have all the funds to do all their research, i then use their highly unstable teleportation gun to bamph myself to the black knight’s hill, i strap throw the gun at the black knight knowing he cannot be defeated, he uses Excalibur and slices the gun in half, in the midst of his laughter the gun explodes and teleports him to an unknown location (which just by random chance happens to be right over cappybara’s Europa!) now unguarded i higher a special forces group and an expert maze builder to build a maze on the hill, i then get the black mesa research team to put portals in random spots in the maze that teleports you back out side of the maze at the entrance, in the maze are the special forces unit with orders to kill all who enter the maze. i then have a throne built in the center of the hill and a portal leading to my other throne in my city! like it good! yes life is good, and with capybara out of the picture who can possibly stand againced me?

    [End Message]

  • Lady Grey
    Participant

    After wandering the Scottish Highlands for a while, I come across a band of dragons, that I befriend(after proving my worth)and we set of to terrorize and torch towns. In one of these nameless towns I come across a newspaper describing the Black Mesa event and the new Emperor, Jade Valor. I then expalin to the dragons the game that I use to be a part of. They want to play, I argee and find out about your defence systems,the dragons and I notice one flaw in your sysytem that we can use. We set of to the maze.Once there we stay in the air, you, Jade Valor, have way to defend yourself form a air attack. We torch everything,Oh and your special force unit makes a nice snack for the dragons. Knowing you, you flee through your portal to your other throne in the city, we follow you and set fire to your city as well. I do stop Borvo, the leader, from eating you. Allowing you to flee with your tail between your legs.
    “He will be back.” Borvo tells me.
    I nod my head “I know, but thats what makes this game so much fun.”
    The dragons help rebuild the city, we do feel bad, and hand it over to the people. Back on the hill we tinker around with Black Mesa gear and make it more stable for use to use and wait for the next fool to come…

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    Nah… this has been getting far to complicated.

    *wanders off*

    It’s a beautiful day.

    My day!

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    I’m pretty sure Dermut is right… It’s gotten a bit out of hand. A bit too complex. I think we are in need of a hard reset here. King of the Hill 2.0? I think I’ll get on that soon. But let’s wrap this up shall we?

    *King of the Hill: Final Attack… ENGAGE!*

    I finish watching all of my episodes of Jackie Chan Adventures. Satisfied with my TV watching time, I look out into the night sky and take in the sights to see. And then it hits me. I’m bored. There is nothing left to do on Europa. So I formulate a battle plan. I strap the Black Knight to the front of my Moon, and stab the front of my Spaceship Drill to the back of it. I turn it on full throttle. Soon, Europa has escaped Jupiter’s gravitational pull and is flying away… towards Earth. Soon, I look out at the approaching planet, and brace for impact. The Black Knight, using his invincibility, absorbs most of the force of the landing as we crash into the planet. Where on the planet you ask? Right smack dab in the middle of the mini-city and that Scottish hill.The force of the collision between the two celestial bodies causes both locations to explode and disintegrate as they smash together, a collision not seen since the creation of Earth’s moon!

    The planet has now been remodeled. A giant honking moon is sticking out of the planet. The hills are gone. The Black Knight pulls himself out from beneath the weight of the icy moon. His body was enough to absorb most of the force that would have caused the moon to shatter and cause worldwide devastation. The members of the Human species look over at me, proudly standing on top of Europa.

    “Ladies and gentlemen!” I call out loudly and proudly. “This is my final challenge issued to you! A final duel! The winner takes everything home! The ultimate hill! A celestial body protruding from the Earth! Come one, come all! The final epic battle for complete control of the solar system’s greatest hill! And once this battle is over, round two shall begin!”

    I lift the portal gun and shoot it into the sky, at a red glowing beacon positioned up there, glowing in the night. “On Mars! For the largest volcano in the solar system!” I look down and greet all of the challengers, a wide smirk on my face. “You’ve all put in a great battle, but now let’s bring this battle up to 11. Come at me, if you dare. I bring out a throne from inside my spaceship, and await my final challengers.

    “One last move per person, and then we move on. For Great Justice!” I call out as I plant my royal bottom in the throne.



    So… yeah. Let’s wrap this baby up!

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    THIS IS AWESOME! A FINAL SHOWDOWN! i have never had sooo much fun with this game untill i joined the TSU! so HERE I GO!

    I with the help of my child ninja samurai i trained on page 3 that have been idle and forgotten until now I take a rocket to The Space Colony
    A.R.K. there i use the power of a chaos emerald given to me by Eggman in case of an emergency, and use it to fire the A.R.K.’s Eclipse Cannon! targeted right at capybara (after his speech of course because you NEVER attack a man wile he is monologing!) since just one emerald was enough to take out a quarter of the moon in one blast, i aim it at the Black knight, using his invincibility he absorbs the majority of the blast, wiping out cappybara and his defenses but leaving the hill intact, the black knight who although cannot be killed, gets tired of being beat up on and goes back to defending his bridge! i then hop aboard the Toonami ship called the Absolution and bring it into a low orbit over my new hill, i then send out androids to defend it wile i give them ship support with the help of TOM 3.0, i leave my child ninja Samurai in the A.R.K. because i dont want them to get hurt in the coming final battle of the hill! (and they have orders to use the remaining 6 emeralds to destroy the entire planet if i fail to defend the hill!)

    WHO WILL CHALLENGE ME IN THIS FINAL BATTLE!

    [End Message]

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    guess no one.

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    Restart?

    Then I will plant the first flag on this clean and pristine hill.

    My hill!

  • Commander JET
    Participant

    I have never seen such huge, crazy, posts from you people who think they can sit on my hill!!!

    Go home to your mommas!
    *sits on her hill and plays with her robots*

    8-O I’m serious here!
    Mine! :-x

  • Puts a big box of Beetlejuice plushies, tin wind-up robots, bendable devils and Gremlins at the base of the hill to lure JET away…. Wait a sec… I wanna play with this stuff… You can keep the hill JET!

  • Commander JET
    Participant

    Professor Jimmy Blue:
    Puts a big box of Beetlejuice plushies, tin wind-up robots, bendable devils and Gremlins at the base of the hill to lure JET away

  • MarleyCupcake
    Participant

    It’s a beautiful day. While JET and Jimmy are busy fighting over toys, I calmly walk up to the top of the hill and set out a lovely picnic for myself. Afterward I find a nice tree and sit under it while watching the clouds lazily go by.

    My hill.

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    I sneak up behind Marley leaving a trail of sugar. The trail is quickly followed by load and loads of ants, which attack Marley’s picknick left overs and then her. As Marley, now covered in ants, runs screaming and itching from the hill, with the ants in hot pursuit, I take my rightfull place on top of my (ant) hill.

    Tadaa!

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    I walk up to the top of the hill and wave hello to Dermut. I pick up a sandwich untouched by the impeding swarm of ants and offer it to him as a sign of friendship. He graciously takes it and gives it a big bite. What he doesn’t know is that the sandwich if filled with hot sauce, and there is no drinks included in the picnic! He then darts off the hill and jumps into the babbling brook at the foot of the hill. I then wipe away the ants and sit down under the tree, pull out a book, and enjoy the lovely day.

    The hill is now in my possession!

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    …. Or thats what KillerCapybara thinks is happening. Thanks to my inhuman resistance to spicy food (the fact that I only have three tastbuds left might have something to do with that) I pretend my mouth is on fire to lul him into a false sense of victory. What I’m really doing in the brook is filling my big mouth (sometimes very handy, other times not so) with cristal clear water and using my equally inhuman lungs to direct the beam of water with such incredible force and uncanny accuracy that I squirtle him and the tree straight off the hill. Being all wet is no proper attire for any king, so he is forced to go home and get some fresh, dry clothes, putting him out of the picture for a while. I trundle back up the hill.

    My hill.

    Oh, and I replant the tree using minecraft bonemeal. I’m not a savage.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    ahh another hill to claim! why not? the more hills the merrier! being the founder of King of the Hill Conquerors Academy (KHCA,i dress up as a Hill inspector! walking up to durmuts hill i examine the hill and tell him its 37cm higher than his current hill permit allows him to own, durmut not wanting to be in trouble with the law, runs to the nearest Hill licenser…not realizing they dont exist. i then pull out a grill a lawn chair and a dancing monkey and sit in the shade enjoying lemonade, burgers and entertainment!

  • MarleyCupcake
    Participant

    I’ve gone and retrieved my vehicle reserved for only the most srs of business….My tank. It’s pink and white, decorated with glitter and lovely airbrushed cupcakes. Also it shoots giant radioactive sprinkles. A hail of the sickly sweet ammunition rains down on Jade, leaving behind a scorched earth with the distinct aroma of caramelized sugar. Oddly enough, the tree is somehow left standing.

    Satisfied that Jade is either blown far off the hill and into the aether or in pieces scattered amongst the smoldering debris, I deploy maid-bots to clean the area up and remove all traces of radioactivity. They’re quickly followed by builder-bots that raise a small fortress (nothing too ostentatious) with the tree in the center. I then call in some patrol-bots equipped with laser vision and heat seeking missiles to guard the compound grounds. I tie a tire swing onto one of the trees’ branches and play in the sun, swinging higher and higher until I can view the entire hill and surrounding landscape over the walls.

    My hill.

  • Goes to an authentic Native American Pow-Wow. Bearing the gift of white chocolate candy corn M&M’s (which are amazing!), I learn the dances of a native tribe, one of which being a rain dance. After several goof ups of accidentally doing the puppies bungee jumping dance and the grow bigger tomatoes dance, I finally get it right and within seconds, a torrential downpour rains down on Marley and all her bots and washes out any protective walls she may have (She really oughta look into whether or not her bots were licensed contractor bots or just fly by night bots.) The bots instantly rust up because she never coated them with Rustoleum brand protective enamel, Rustoleum… Stops rust!
    Marley then subsequently slips and falls during a mudslide and ends up buried beneath tons of hill run off. I wait patiently for the ground to dry, which here in sunny California, only takes about a day.
    I put on my George Jefferson mask cause… I be moovin’ on up!
    To MY HILL!

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    after washing the mud off of me, i look around and find that the dancing monkey was lost in the mud slide….needing to avenge my monkey and not seeing the the Pink Sprinkle mobile anywhere i take it out on the first person i see on the hill the professor! picking up the first Volume of hill takers 101 i rush up and JADE CHOP the professors head with my vast volume! afterword i throw the professor in detention for a week for not remembering the first rule of hill capture, never misuse an Indian rain dance!

    my hill once again

    [End Message]

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    Seeing that battle has once again erupted I have come up with a ingenious plan, you see. In stead of pushing the present owner of the hill only to see him rise or meeting an other compettetor, I decide to just steal the entire hill!

    I sneakely set up several transporter beacons around the base of the hill. With a crackle of power I teleport the hill to an undisclosed location leaving Jade Valor temporarely (but only very shortly) suspended in empty space, then teleport myself to the previous mentioned undisclosed location before scattering any trail that may still exist.

    My hill.
    Won’t you people ever learn?

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    hah! nice one Dermut…but i did learn i am the head master of the KHCA after all! in the last game the hill was teleported! ever since then i always install a universal Positioning system or UPS for short in all hills i wish to conquer! it allows me to locate the hill in any position in Space or time! using this device i locate the hill and using the residual teleportation energy left from your beacons, send a small jolt of electricity through it using a prank shock pen and using the coordinates from my UPS teleport to your hills location! you being so shocked that someone was able to get to your undisclosed area so fast stumble backward and fall off the hill and into the waterfall the hill was teleported on top off. im now king of this hill and the watterfall!

  • TWO CAMELS IN A TINY CAR…. EVERY ONE”S POINTS ARE NOW INVALID! While every one is down the hill crying in SHAME I Sgt. Scratch and Sniff calmly walk up and sit in comfort. I Now control this hill.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    very nice play dear brother of mine! but ill not have my baby brother best me at my own game! i quickly create an end to all points counter point with Hitler the snowman riding a hello kitty sleigh! the end to all points counter end pointing collision sends your mind into shock,still frothing at the mouth, i tell one of my students to escort you to the infirmary and for more schooling on hill capture!
    you still have much to learn dear brother, maybe a few hours of Detention will straighten you out!

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    Revving up my improbabilaty drive, I dropkick my army of bruce Lee/Bruce wayne algamated clones from my sportshoe shaped starship for a high altitude incursion, only equiping half of them with parashutes. Then after a few blast from my incompresencability cannon to scatter your students (and incidentaly all life forms beginning with F), I read the neccesary spells from the dark spellbook “the Dictionaris Oxfordian” in reverse to animate the hill and it (the hill, not the book) runs away on gigantic spider leggs and under my complete control. A quick EMP to switch off any tracers or teleport tracers and I hide it (again, the hill) under a blanket.

    My hill.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    two can play at this game, when the spider hill start running off and the improbability drive still active the nearby city gets animated as well and it coffee table flips your spider hill and eat its legs. the hill now upside down is more of a plateau now, realizing now i have to fight the Death City Robot for the hill i cleverly hold action and wait for the next challenger to fight it instead.
    The Death City Robots hill for now!

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    not seeing a way to get the hill back from the Death City Robot i call to the aid of all other challengers for a temporary truce, until we can get the hill back from this City on legs!

    WHO WILL JOIN ME TO DESTROY THE DEATH CITY ROBOT!!!

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    I’m still waiting for it’s batteries to run down…..

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    Umm… So the city is now in the possession of a walking Death City? Did I read that right? Okay then, I’ll work off of that. How does one destroy a city? Simple! You don’t destroy a city! I buy a plot of land inside this death city, the same plot of land that now holds the hill! I am now within the protection of this death city, all with the hill in my possession! Um, my hill?

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    CAPYBARA YOU ARE A GENIUS! here i am hiding in a ditch living of of cave rats for the last month waiting for a rally when i could have been living in luxury AND owning the hill INSIDE the Death city!

    well now that someone has acted! i buy the restaurant at the foot of the hill inside Death City and though shady business deals and free lunch on Wednesdays convince the Death City police to convince you thier is a dead body of a murder victim berried under you land, haveing no choice but to leave for the remainder of the investigation they secure the hill for me! and watch it round the clock wile i provide free food and coffee!  :mrgreen:

     

    MY HILL!

     

    [End Message]

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    Hmmmm.

     

    I slowly infiltrate the cities political structure and allow myself, due to the medium of public relations and the occasional fat bribe to be instated as police commissionaire. Using my force of investigators I collect incriminating information on all the cities public officials and those likely to succeed them (if it becomes time to “replace” the existing ones). These officials basically become a puppet government in my employ. I then sic a legion of health officials onto Jades restaurant and have it closed down.

     

    My city, thus my hill.

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    Alright, I’m going to work off of Jade’s restaurant idea. I decide to start up a small restaurant, with a primary meal of beans and smelly exotic French cheeses. The restaurant becomes popular enough for it to expand into a large building. And of course the health officials of yours would be skeptical of such a place, but they seem more than willing to take bribes of the smelly cheese variety. We eventually expand to different places all around the city, becoming a chain. The restaurant is called the Killer Cheesey-bara, and the “killer” part is about to be right!

    For you see, the smell of the city eventually becomes so bad, that the government considers it a public health hazard, and evacuate the city. I, using my amazing camouflage (hiding in the cheese fridge with a close pin stuck on my nose), grab the hill and declare it mine!

    The hill is now mine. Anyone care to counter?

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    I pick up the gauntlet! in exile i travailed to many of your chain restaurants….watching and learning….biding my time…waiting to strike. you see i couldn’t be destructive because my regulars where at risk..but  now that the city has been evacuated..i can use my Secret WEAPON developed my my R&D section of the KHCA (King of the Hill Conquerors Academy) i set up my SCBG’s (stinky cheese begone grenades) all around the city! when they go off they have 5 gallons of concentrated fabreeze in each bomb! the fresh and clean smell is sooo overpowering that the Death City Robot Sneezes and launches killer cappybara off the hill and out of the city! (i strapped myself to a fire hydrant to avoid the same fate). my city and my hill…using a old Russian style gas-mask i guard my hill and city with my trusty nerf buster sword at my side!

  • Engineer Airhead
    Keymaster

    What a nice smell, what a scentless smell. I think I could waltz on right in, disguised as a common PWSW ( Postal Warrior Service Worker ). When an arsenal of pointed objects and Nerf related projectile weapons are aimed to my body, my hands would rise above my head, there’s no way I’d want to be dead.

    When the chances of war has safely been passed though my lies and supposed innocence, when faced with the magnitude of this skilled man with clear fire superiority, I’d complete my job.

    A letter for you, provided of forces unknown, I was only paied to carry it though the harsh land, full of those unknowing of the smell’s sudden fix. It’s like an atomic bombs gone off or something, tents and everything.

    Anyway, with the letter handed over I take my leave, a lazer aimed at my head all the while! Later that night an explosion is heard thohgout the trees, that letter was rigged for sure!

    But this was no explosive stuck on with tape and string, oh no. Nonofibers soaked that piece of A4. Atoms like potassium and rubidium held at length though solid carbon superstructures – just waiting for energy to break the carbon’s bond. To give them the space to jump at one another, for 1,000 reactions explosively exothermic reactions to take place.

    and the energy to create such a bang? just a Nerf gun, nothing more. That page was so soaked enouth you’d smell it a mile off. It’s a pitty that gas mark cut it off rather efficiently. A few of the men who evacuated thinking the cheese would continue to stink, a simple lie had them enraged, running back into their old home, brandishing swords, guns, even grenades. But before they could take 5 steps in, that Nerf gun went off. taking them down in one. That’s when the explosion took place, hopefully you aren;t too burnt, the gas released would throw you right out, landing on the hard ground, but in these times you’d be taken care of for sure. Those bones will heal in no time.

    Now I’m here on your hill, considering how a simple lie could get someone so very far.

     

    ( Sorry if that was alot to read, i’ve a habit of ranting )

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    i wake up feeling dizzy…weak…confused… what had happened….i look around….thats right…the letter bomb….i start to doze of when…THE LETTER BOMB!!! no good lien Currier! ill have my revenge AND hill back soon enough! but for now..ill send my secret weapon (on of many) after the hill….

    Zeen gets a knock on his door….he opens it up to see 5 repo men here to reposes the city and the hill! thinking it best not to argue with the repo’s 5 ton hired muscle bob, Zeen allows the nice repo men to carry off the city and hill. where they bring it right to me, i am then moved to a hospital stationed in the upper district of Death City where i can watch the hill from my bed and recover.

     

    [End MEssage]

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    While you all are constructing your overcomplicated schemes, I simply steal the hill (got really deep pockets, me) and sneak out of town.

     

    My hill.

  • Pvt. Blue
    Participant

    Little did Dermut know I was riding on his back the entire time! With the agility and dexterity learned from years of anthill and sand dune stealing, I snatch up the mountain and put it back on the ground where it belongs.

     

    MY hill.

  • Pvt Blue failed to register the placement of the mountain and after calling Mr. Bones Attorney At Law, Law Firm Extraordinare LLC. TSU. LOL.  It turns out that the hill became public domain until someone fronted the money for said registration fees, which were set by a municipal judge at only 17 cents.  I paid the 17 cents and made a hefty 25 cent donation to the judge’s favorite charity, and was given the deed to the hill, for at which point I now throw handfuls of confetti in the air and scream…

    MY HILL!

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    The Professor enjoying his little victory winds up choking on confetti and passes out, i then take the dead from him hire a bald agent with cool shades named Joseph and tell him to keep the deed safe. i then take out a sun chair and sit on the top of the deed!

    My hill!

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    A clever ploy but little does Jade Valor know that the bald man named Joseph is in fact me, cleverly disguised! Mwahaha. While in my possession, the deed was almost perfectly forged and this forgery is currently under Jades sun chair. A fact he doesn’t discover until 8 burly men (secretly 8 super robots, hand crafted by me from recycled materials) point out the intentional flaws in the deed and evict him. I install a throne on the hill and coat it in super glue glueing it to the hill super tight. I then take my place on said throne fastening myself to throne and hill alike. With my 8 robotic servants providing my every need (except the kinky ones) I am now master of the hill. And I shall move from here nevermore!

    Mwahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha!

     

    My hill.

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    I pull up to the hill with my Electromagnetic Rocket. With a simple flick of a switch, the feeble metal warriors are sent hurling at the device. Then, with a super soaker full of Acetone, I dissolve the bonds holding the throne to the hill and my Electromagnetic Rocket pulls in Dermut and the throne he is glued to! With the second switch flipped, the rocket fires into the air, carrying the robots, the Throne, and Dermut into Space, on a collision course with the very SUN ITSELF!

    I then surround the hill with a wall of Tax Forms, creating a field of such anti-fun that no self-respecting TSU Soldier will want to even think about it!

    My hill.

  • Commander JET
    Participant

    Too bad for you I don’t gotta respect shieeeeeettt son!:P

    *Busts up on the hillside with a flamethrower, smokes up all the papers and turns them into dust*

    *Climbs up to the top* *Pokes Tony in his Red eye* *pushes him down the hill*

    Get off mah hill boy!

    *crosses arms* mine Hill!:cool:

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    Sneaks near hill, places Mind control cupcake, runs and hides in a nearby bush. the Commander sees the tasty cupcake and runs down, after consuming it i brain wash her to be my hill guardian!  knowing the Toy Soldiers would NEVER fire on thier dear commander i feel safe in my security!

     

    MY hill

     

    PS: sorry Commander nothing personal is just business ^.^

     

    [End Message]

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    Seeing that Commander Jet is guarding the Hill for Jade Valor, I deduce that Commander Jet must be under Jade’s fiendish Mind Control. I hit Commander Jet with a Mind Regression Ray to before she ate the cupcake, making her think that SHE is still King of the Hill!

     

    While the Commander and Jade fight like rabid dogs over the hill, I myself take it. Any who wish to challenge me must first get past their melee, which would frankly be suicide.

     

    My Hill.

     

    ~^(;,;)^~

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    wile entangled in a death match with the Commander i break free and attempt to make a mad dash toward Red eye the tony, but the commander pulls the ground out from under my feet and our fight resumes. covered in scratches (the commander has sharp claws!) i wait for  toy soldier intervention.

     

    Curse you RED EYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Rage-O-Meter
    Participant

    Quickly digs under the hill popping out of the ground in the middle of the fight. I then proceed to drag both jade and the commanders right leg inside in and ties them together with rope. Then i continue to dig underneath the hill to be the king under the hill!

     

    Huzzah!

  • Brigadier Davis
    Participant

    Wanders up onto the battle scarred and now apparently barren hill top, Looking down at the large hold beneath me I think this would be a nice place if it wasn’t for the hole. I proceed to fill the hole with quick setting concert and turf over it, laying back in the long grass, hidden from sight, I reflect that the hill is now mine.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    now being tied up with the commander and knowing that being this close to an angry Commander jet would be the death of me i do the only thing i can think of….i chew off my right leg witch is tied to the commanders…i then hobble up to Brigadier Davis with the speed of 1000 wild wildebeest! the sight of a haggard one legged jade rushing up was so startling that Brigadier Davis falls down the hill, leaving it to me…a bleeding out jade…hmm well my hill…at least until i bleed out!

     

  • Builds a makeshift Bandage dispensing machine at the base of the hill, with bandages selling for only a nickle each.  The exceptional deal lures Jade down the hill, but in hobbling down, Jade falls, tumbling all the way to the bottom and fainting by the dizzying spill.  After pushing Commander JET and a mysterious chewed up leg, down the other side of the hill,  I hereby exclaim… “MY BLOODY HILL!”  literally… that hill has so much blood it’s like Carrie was holding her high school prom here!

    Never the less… MY HILL!

  • Captain Dermut
    Participant

    Sure Jimmy, but where do you think you got the parts for the band aid machine and the band aids from? Me that is. With the proceeds from this little enterprise I buy my own private hill.

     

    My hill.

  • Rage-O-Meter
    Participant

    Having dug my way out the top hill. Which was quickly starting to fill up with concrete i pop my head out of a hole yelling ‘boo’. Which scared professor jimmy into slipping on a pool of jade blood. Tumbling down the hill on top of angry three legged Commander JET.

     

    My hill and good luck jimmy.

  • I grab the base of the hill like a blanket and I fling it up in the air, throwing all its recent inhabitants off into a ravine somewhere near by, which is just foreshadowing, leaving them unharmed and close.  Once the hill blanket settles, I run up to the top, spearing the very top with a TS flag and claim the hill in the name of TSU… MY HILL (for the time being)

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    Having been thrown away from the Hill with at least Commander Jet, Jade Valor, Dermut, Brigadier Davis, and Rage-o-Meter, I stand at the top of the ravine and give an empassioned speech, pointing dramatically at the TS flag, our promised land, a land we all fought so hard for (never mind against who) and, with a steady eye, I command the charge into battle: to take down Professor Blue and to reclaim our freedom!

    I hand everyone an FDC regulation* weapon as they climb out of the ravine and charge the hill. With the six of us, we easily overcome Professor Blue, turning him over to the UN as a war criminal. Of course, that’s when the weapons I handed everyone let out sprays of Sleep Gas, knocking everyone else unconscious. I sweep the bodies into a neat little corner and use the blood from all over the hill to create a giant Yellow Sign, driving mad anyone who would dare approach…

    My Hill!

    ~^(;,;)^~

     

    *- Is sleep gas not regulation? My bad.

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    *Comes over hill drinking a soda*

    …Oh what is this! I leave for a little while to get myself some refreshments and what do I find?! I don’t even know anymore! This hill is a mess! There’s just blood everywhere! Random scrap metal flung all over the place! A random ravine… how did this even get here?! And the grass in untrimmed, covered in… glue and acetone? No. I worked hard to make this hill look nice, and now look at it. You all should be ashamed! Now go and clean it up! Go, you made the mess I want it clean.

    And after you all finish, I want you to go off and think about what you’ve done. I’ll watch the hill until you all get back. This hill represents freedom, beauty, and power. It should not be ruined by such childish antics! Now skidaddle! I’ll, um, watch my newly cleaned hill until you all get back. Ooooh! A throne! It’s like you all knew I was coming!

    *sits on throne* Eeyup. This is the life.

    My hill.

  • Rage-O-Meter
    Participant

    I hold up a detonator and press the button. The ‘throne’ starts lifting off and fires KillerCapybara onto a remote island in the pacific. I hop and skip back and forth as i take out a lawn mower and start to mow the grass on top of the hill breathing deeply in the fresh cut grass smell. 

     

    “Ahhh, My hill now stay off the grass!” places down a stay off the grass sign.

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    I fly overhead, spraying the hill with a retrovirus designed to make plants intelligent. By the time I reach the ground, it has already taken effect. The grass, horrified at Rage-O-Meter’s genocide, has him sent to plant-prison for being the horrible criminal that he is.

    After a rousing rendition of “Carrot Juice is Murder” I find myself elected President of the Hill by my millions of intelligent grass-men, who graciously clear off a space for me to sit. Elections are in four years. Will you reduce the hill to an unsightly mound of dirt, slaughtering millions in the process, or will you accept my mastery of the Hill?

    My hill.

  • Sgt. Pinkerton
    Participant

    i am using megaphones, broadcast, flyers and other media to announce that candidate for president has to be born on the hill, therefore you can’t be a president and you are nothing but a fraud, you lost all support from the intelligent plants and need to find cover before the rioters will rip you appart, armoured limo is you only chance…it is too late when you find out it was trap, my crew killed you and dumped to the sewer…i am taking over the hill with promise to take care of every citizen, because i am a skilled farmer, plants are now loyal to me

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    i use my special Curry sauce on Red eye..it turns him into a zombie and goes right for sgt.pinkerton! wile distracted i use a crop duster and spray a combination of bleach and iron dust over the hill, killing its millions of grass citizens, and i then use a magnet to pick up the hill  because of the iron dust in the hill. i fly the hill to my 5 mile long super destroyer Flagship carrier and place the hill in a high security forest simulation room! the Millions of grass citizens where and acceptable loss and i now have the hill!

    i a heartless bastard hehe :mrgreen:

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiins… Braaaiiiins…. Braaaaiinnnnnnns…*

    *Translation: Once Sgt. Pinkerton manages to escape my gnawing and biting, I wander the countryside. I bite a person here, a person there, leak some curry sauce onto food stuffs and in water supplies… soon, half the continent is dead from the zombie outbreak. The last active thought in my brain still in my mind, I lead hundreds of thousands of zombies across the ocean, sheer instinct guiding me to the Super Destroyer. Like Carpenter Ants escaping a torrential flood, we climb on top of each other until we reach the bottom of the flagship. The zombie horde under the sea takes severe losses from the expertly trained crew, but in the end mere humans are no match for the sheer volume of zombies coming at them. Finally, surrounded by thousands of zombies and floating on a now-derelict Super Destroyer off of the desolated continent of North America, I break into the forest simulation room and begin to wander around in circles upon it as my children destroy the world.

    My Hill.

    ~^(;,;)^~

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    Curses! i TOLD my first mate  we should have gotten that Zombie proof hull coating! well wile Red eye tony is in my forest simulation i begin the purging effect! enclosing myself and the last surviving crew members in the last zombie free area left on the ship the local cupcakery i then engage the purging protocol, which causes all air vents outside the cupcakery to vent flames from the ships reactor killing all the zombies. i then activate the super destroyers flying mode taking the now zombie free ship and hill to about 3000 ft above the ocean!

    MY HILL SUCKERS!!!

     

  • Pvt. Hyper Breath
    Participant

     :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D YOU THINK YOUR SO clever do you. Clearly you have not seen my power oh ya i just became a soldier SO NO ONE DOES MUHAHAHA! (cough, cough) srry about that i have a cold. any way i get out my S,G,N or (Sun,Gun, of,Fun) blinding you then i get out my N,S,G or (Nut,Shell,Gun) incasing you in a walnut MY HILL! top that suckers MUHAHAHA!! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

  • KillerCapybara
    Participant

    There I was, stuck on my island out in the middle of the Pacific (where I apparently left off last time). Nothing but a palm tree, my now defunct throne, and a coconut which I called Dennis. As I was sitting out there, I look up and saw what I couldn’t believe… a giant walnut falling from the sky into the ocean. Not questioning the shear impossibility of giant walnuts and being compelled by hunger, I swan dive into the water with Dennis in hand and swim over to my salvation. I cling to the nut and climb to the top, observing my situation. I came to a conclusion; this was going to be a hard nut to crack. After knocking on the nut a few times and getting a satisfying stare from Dennis, I pull out my hammer, hastily constructed from palm tree wood and shark teeth. With a single thwack, the nut rumbles and cracks right open. I watch as the hapless people flee in fear, enjoying the sunlight and jumping in the water to celebrate escape from their dark imprisonment. I could only watch in awe as I have a beautiful battleship standing before me. I jump on to the now barren ship and wander onto the control deck and press the shiny red button out of curiosity. The engines rev, and the ship flies into the air. As I watch the former inhabitants swim to the island to watch my take off, I wander over and find my beauty, the hill! I cling to it, and hug it. Dennis and I sit upon it and look out into the beautiful sunset. We start flying away, free from the pains that the other soldiers wanting this hill had caused. Euphoria, my friends, that’s where I’m going…

    MY HILL! :wink: 

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    Eventually, KillerCapybara finds land. A new land! A new hope for him, Dennis, and his Hill!

    Unfortunately, thanks to JadeValor’s unconscionable use of his curry sauce, the land is now infested with zombies. While KillerCapybara sits with Dennis looking out into the sunset, the derelict Super Destroyer crashes into the ground. (It just so happens that it takes more than one man and a coconut to pilot a Super Destroyer)

    The zombies overtake the ship, driving away KillerCapybara. Unfortunately, Dennis gets bitten. Fortunately, Dennis is an old coconut and is thus unharmed by the zombie bite.

    And that is when, like a bad sci-fi movie villain with a questionable explanation as to how he could possibly survive, I arrive upon the run around Super Destroyer, standing atop the glorious hill as king of the zombies, the world rotting under the terror of my undead hordes.

    MY HILL! ~^(;,;)^~

  • Pvt. Hyper Breath
    Participant

    (wakes up from well deserved slumber) Whats that moaning sound i leave my underground bunker (O_O) what the heck is going on here where did the zombies come from any way DIE ZOMBIES I UNLEASH A SUPER HYPER BREATH CHARGE FROM MY MOUTH AND BLAH a huge blast incinerate all the zombies and ripping apart the big ship before me!! and kicking Killercapybara off the hill

     

    My hill suckers :)

  • Pvt. Hyper Breath
    Participant

    I make my instant rock golem kit to make 5 rock golems to protect the hill!!

     

  • Mr. Milo Von Waffle
    Participant

    Well I being the new arrival in the forum games see what is going on I simply walk past everyone and push Pvt. Hyper Breath off the hill and then setting off me waffle army that are wearing ghost chile pepper armour. And then getting my army to use the adorableness of their waffle faces to take the rock golems over.

    MY HILL WHAT UP NOW!Cool

  • Pvt. Hyper Breath
    Participant

    Well well well! What do I have here I walk up the hill and just simply tell everyone to get off the hill (but wait theirs more theirs more) I also break the ghost chille pepper armor off the waffle army and the eat them all and kick Milo off the hill!!

    :wink::wink::wink:

  • Mr. Milo Von Waffle
    Participant

    WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT!!! I then proceed to push my big red button that makes all of my eaten waffle army to explode making Hyper Breath get flung off the hill and making him mad so he goes BLAH on everyone but me.

    MY HILL NOW!:cool:

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    YOUUUUUUUU IIIDDDIIIOOOTTTTT!!!! *Slaps Milo with Rod of Discipline*  i cannot believe one of my own Students from the KHCA (King of the Hill Conquers Academy) would use unauthorized and Highly Experimental technology such as Wafflemen to Take a petty hill from MY Super Destroyer! you should be ashamed of yourself! that will be 5 hours of Detention! no go back to class and think about what youve done!  *Milo walks back to class in shame leaving the hill abandoned* i then take my rightful place at the hill with my trusty Rod of Discipline! “Who then will try to take the hill from the Headmaster of the KHCA! 

     

    PS: nice to see you post KillerCapybara your post made me die of laughter! :D

     

    [End Message]

  • Brigadier Davis
    Participant

    I climb up from the ravine where I was so inconsiderately slung like a piece of discarded rubbish the last time I bothered to pay attention to what was going on. My HPSS (Hill positioning satellite system (Patent Pending)) informing me that the hill is within my eyesite.

    Summoning all of my strength and guile I approach the hill, stetting both hands on it and begin to push, the sudden movement dislodging the recumbent Jade Valor, as I push the hill into my storage locker.

    Thinking some may notice the missing Hill, I replace it quickly with a small model made from lego. 

  • Mr. Milo Von Waffle
    Participant

    Finally waking up from sleeping in shame I see the hill but it seems different. I walk up i touch it, Bite it, then i lick it. Well Well Well….plastic this ought to get it out of the way form my hill…*pulls out new creation and zaps the hill with my B,R,G. (bottling ray gun). My B,R,G then encases the plastic hill in a bottle with a ship in it then i proceed to punt the plastic hill in the ocean allowing it to sink. WHAT!!! WHERE IS THE ACTUAL HILL!!! I then see Brigadier Davis shoving something inside of a locker. I walk over tap him on the shoulder then knock him out. I then use my B,R,G to encase him in a bottle and i roll him away. Well would you look at that….I then pull out the hill and place a chair on top of it sitting there and encasing me and the hill in a bottle.

     

    MY HILL!!!

  • Mr. Milo Von Waffle
    Participant

    Since no one replied recently i would love to use my new creation Golem despair. I use that and sprinkle what seems like dust on the ground. I grab a pitcher of water and put water on the “dust”. Heheheheehe just add water.. *rubs hands together maniacally* I then have my golems roam freely in my bottle with the hill.

    (iron, snow, diamond, dirt, tree, steel, and rock golems) 

  • Pvt. Hyper Breath
    Participant

    (In my absents I’ve been searching far and wide for none other than THE BLACK KNIGHT!!! I find him siting a top a stump having a tea party with king Arthur :? in my confusion I tell the black knight to my aid. Then we return to the hill and I get out my giant bottle opener and opening the bottle before me then wile the black knight defeats the golems I walk up to Milo and in case him in side a walnut then I simply punt the nut off the hill and I destroy the bottle and in case the hill myself the the knight in a walnut

     

    My hill TEEHEE

     

  • Hmmm about time I join in on this…

    I grab my trusty 9-iron, and my even more trusty overclocked cattleprod (you read that right), and calmly walk up the hill. As the black knight tells me I cannot pass (does that guy ever learn new phrases), I jab him with my overclocked cattleprod (yes that is a car battery hooked up to it), and leave him there twitching. Perhaps he should’ve worn less metal. I then proceed to creep up on Hyper Breath stealthily, and while his back is still turned I swing my 9-iron and watch him fly towards a conveniently-placed hole and flag… FORE!

     

    My hill ^^

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    so this is what happens when i have to teach Hill capturing classes at the KHCA!  well dont say i dont learn from my mistakes!   i take a turbo spray super-soaker from the TSU armory, a Banana peal from the trash can of my Digital Cafe, a child ninja samurai from my Academy and a rock from some random persons garden! i throw the rock past The tactical Sgt Iceroyale and wile he turns his back to investigate have one of my Child Ninja Samurai plant the banana behind him  i then hose the Tac.sgt with about 20 gallons of watter! thoroughly soaked iceroyal spins around and attempts to run after me to zap me but slips on the banana peal and drops his overclocked Cattle-prod in the watter shocking himself instead!  carefully disconnecting the the cattle prod from the car battery i push the tac.sgt down the hill with his fried cattle-prod. i then assume a defensive position with one of my students hiding in the bushes nearby hoping for some extra credit!

     

    [End MEssage]

  • fires BFG…my hill

  • I look at the smouldering remains of the hill, and at Mayo lying on his back, unconscious from the weapon’s recoil. I take the weapon and construct a new hill on the site where the old once stood. Around it I build a wall topped with razor wire, and set with a gate made from pure Unobtanium. On the gate poles I set auto-targetting gattling guns which have been programmed not to shoot me. Also, I know their deactivation code. Atop the hill, I sit in my glorious marble throne

     

    My hill

     

     

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    Your rampant use of Unobtainum has angered the Na’vi, who I lead in glorious rebellion. Riding Toruk, I lead hoards of Na’vi over your hill to overthrow your oppressive regime. Many die from the fire of your Gatling guns, but our virtuous and noble cause (combined with the power of sheer numbers) allows us to overtake your militaristic defenses. After you are captured and your defenses dismantled, we ship you to a galaxy far, far away.

    And on the hill we establish a new society of peace and liberty (with me as Emperor: after all, I have Toruk!)

    My Hill.

    ~^(;,;)^~

  • Engineer Airhead
    Keymaster

    i simply wave my hand in front of your face and say “this is not the hill your looking for” and watch you walk away…..

    IM KING!

  • I get the ewoks to drive you off, after which they craft a throne out of leaves and branches on which I can sit.

    My Hill!

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    Having seen the news on your latest tactic, I approach the hill with confidence. When you approach to give your Nutshot-of-Steel, I reveal my Kryptonite Codpiece! Weakened by the rays from my radioactive package, I remove the used (and sweaty) Kryptonite Codpiece, attaching it to your head like a hockey mask. Seeing as you are suitably weakened, I throw you to the bottom of the hill.

    I then draw an eldritch sigil on the ground, summoning Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos to do my bidding. Ravenous Shantaks fill the skies and the darkest fears that man has ever known drive mad any who would dare approach MY HILL!

    ~^(;,;)^~

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    everytime i turn my back someone takes the hill…sigh….

    straps on pyrovision goggles, sees candy and sugar everywhere, shoves lollipop down redeyes’s mouth witch happens to be Ghost chilli pepper flavored.  redeye then passes out from sheer spice and rolles down the hill, his minions seeing thier leader knocked out  and thire madness having no effect run away in terror.   i then erm myself with a supersoaker filled with ghost chili pepper sauce and prepare myself.

  • Col. Bear Sanguine
    Participant

    I build up a tolerance to Ghost Chili peppers to the point of immunity. I deck myself out in scale mail armour, impenetrable magic helmet and my spear, sword and axe, grab my London Plane ball launcher and storm the hill, firing all the way up, coating you in the fine hairs of the itching powder of the woods. Unable to withstand the intense irritation you run off in search of an end to the torment. I build a Bear shaped fortress on the top and plant a dense forest around the perimeter and trunk of the hill before settling down with a fine meal of meat, berries and mead and await my next challenger.

     

    It’s my hill now.

  • The Cold Star
    Participant

    I’m the GM. Rock falls, everybody dies. :D

  • fires BFG 

     

    retakes hill

  • fires BBFG (bigger BFG)

     

    my hill

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    I equip myself with a FG-shield, guaranteed to stop any (B^n)FG-variant, where ‘n’ is a diagonal-infinity across an n-dimensional cube.

    One good punch, a laugh, and a lawn-chair later, and it is MY HILL.

    But how shall I defend it? By offering delicious cupcakes and lemonade to people who just want to sit on my hill and chill out for a bit, of course!

    ‘Cause seriously. Do you want a big pile of dirt with some grass on it, or do you want to enjoy a cupcake and chill for a bit?

  • I arm myself with several lawyers and food inspectors. After careful examination of the cupcakes, and of the laws regarding the sale and/or dispensing of cupcakes and lemonade, as well as the health value of both, you are arrested and locked away, while I settle down on the hill, creating a perimeter of lawyers who do a thorough background check on anyone who wants in. So thorough in fact, that nobody gets in.

  • Epsilon V. 2.5
    Participant

    I approach the hill with a standard issue Fun Industries model 4-56 “Epsilon” railgun, and fire away at any lawyers foolish enough to get in my way, as everyone knows lawyers don’t know how to fight.

    One swift kick in the arse of Iceroyale with my rocket-propelled Nike Airs later, I claim the mighty Hill.

  • Beams you off the hill.

     

    I retake my hill

  • Meanwhile I have finished tunneling underneath the hill, and setting it up with about 5 tonnes of TNT, which I now set off. BOOM! After that, I just make a new hill, and crown myself as constitutional king of the hill

  • Epsilon V. 2.5
    Participant

    I do a fly-over of the new Hill and drop a giant glass sphere over it. I then dump a new layer of dirt on top of it, creating yet another Hill on top of the other.

    My hill, dear sir.

  • Brigadier Davis
    Participant

    After seeing my attempts to gain the hill for myself fail, I attempt a new approach. I go forth and lobby Congress, the European union and every other major political and legislative body across the globe, Finnaly I manage to get the legal definition of a “Hill” changed.

     The Oxford English Dictionary and Websters Dictionary now define a hill as.

     

    • a naturally raised area of land, not as high or craggy as a mountain.  Only counted as such if in the possession of Brigadier Davis

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    I pass out guides to Wittgenstein to remind everyone that language is a social construct and that you can’t undo common definitions by mere legislative action. The law becomes one of those unenforced, powerless, laughable things that no one actually pays mind to.

    I then take my philosophy books and sit on my hill. I summon the ghosts of Plato, Marcus Aurelius, Thomas Aquinas, Spinoza, Kant, Kierkegard, and Heidegger to defend the hill with their ghostly powers and intense arguments.

    My Hill.

  • I summon Nietsche and drive all your philosophers to suicidal depression, which is rather uncomfortable for them, seeing as they’re already dead. I then proceed to let the medics take you away to the psych ward.

     

    My hill.

  • Brigadier Davis
    Participant

    I observe the obsolescence of my new legislation and attempt a new approach to gain the hill for myself.

     

    I project a large hologram of myself sitting, throned attop an even higher, greener and much more pleasent hill to lure Ice Royal away, this hologram keeps moving away maintained a constant distance away from Ice so he can never get nearer.

     

    I pop myself down on the hill Armed with a Nerf Roughcut and a Tankard of ale.

     

    My Hill

  • I finally figure out the hologram trick, and sneak up on you with a super-soaker filled with belgian beer. I then proceed to lure you away with a trail leading off into the distance. Your excellent sense of smell and good taste of beer assure my victory!

    my hill.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    i think you all need another lesson in hill capture! since so far you get AN F!!!! using the power of reality engineering i perceive the hill as mine.

     

    sorry but i teach the class! now do you have the capacity to learn?! O.o

  • Luckily, your perception is so modified, that you completely miss the hill, and seat yourself on an ant hill.

     

    Still my hill.

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    last time i alter my reality wile drunk! i knew there wasent two hills!   stumbles up to Iceroyale, stumbles INTO Iceroyale and knocks both of us down the hill! my…NOONES hill now!!!!

  • Nice move, adversary… nice move.

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    Well, since no one is on the hill, I’ll just have a sit atop it then.

    As before, free cookies for anyone who just wants to sit with me on My Hill. :)

  • hmmm cookies

     

    *sits peacefully with Tony on the hill, enjoying the cookies*

  • *fire BFG*

     

    my hill

  • Brigadier Davis
    Participant

    I decide to check the sell by date on Captain Mayo, discovering that hes atleast 13 years out of date, I pick him up and place him in a dumpster, rolling it down the hill.

     

    My Hill

  • I proceed to blindfold you, place you in a similar dumpster, and push it down the hill in much the same way.

     

    Cookie and peace hill again

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    Om nom nom. Cookies.

  • Commandant Beaker
    Participant

    Sends a wave of mind controlled bunnies up the hill to attack you with overwhelming cuteness. As you lay t up here powerless to resist. They pick you up and carry you down the hill.

    My hill

  • Uses the Holy Hand Grenade.

     

    sets up lawn chair. Come At Me Bro!

  • Commander JET
    Participant

    ..is immune to Holy Grenade—>:cool:

    *Pushes your lawn chair down the hill*

    *sits in lotus position atop hill*

    Mine!:D

     

  • Yells there is a sale on NERF and watches JET run down the hill.

     

    Still mine.

  • Red Eye Tony
    Participant

    I spread rumors of a taint in a food production factory. When the regulatory workers come to take away the tainted Mayo, I sit atop MY HILL.

    But you know what? This time? I eat all the cookies. You guys obviously don’t deserve any.

  • I kidnap tony to be locked up in my cellar since he no longer shares cookies

     

    My hill

  • While you were out I erected a level 10 force field around the hell.

     

    come at me bro!

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    well, too bad for you i disbelieve! *fazes through force field*  NEVER DOUBT THE BOWER OF UNBELIEF!!!

    *stands at Mayo’s back*  i got your back sir! two should be able to defend the hill better than one!

     

    *Rack next nerf round in pocket enforcer*

  • Mr. Milo Von Waffle
    Participant

    Well after coming back from vacation. I notice my hill has been taken my Jade Valor and Mayo.

    So i proceed to use my new invention…..ARE YOU READY JADE VALOR!!!!! I then proceed to use the B.T.G. MARK ||….. I shoot it at the force field trapping the hill and everything inside it including me in a GIANT bottle. Well I think that three should guard…..Ya know the three musketeers. I then Proceed to Summon my NEW undead Waffle army (With sticky syrup included) One bite and your mine.

     

     

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    with Me, Mayo and  the Waffle man guarding the hill who here is brave enough to take it!

  • Mr. Milo Von Waffle
    Participant

    Why am begging to think that no one is brave enough to face us. I think the hill is ours…Oh yeah they also have to get passed the giant bottle. Well lets watch them TRY to get the hill. (bottle is explosive proof)

     

  • I teleport to the top of the hill, and quickly deploy an expanding forcefield, pushing everything off the hill and securing it inside my force bubble

     

    my hill

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    really…iceroyal…you need another lesson in reading as i stated…FORCE FIELDS DONT WORK ON ME!!!!!!! *phases through force-field*  …..crap now what…..i have nothing to take the hill with….ohh well want a cookie *Iceroyal receives the Chocolate chip cookie*

  • Your cookie is accepted! Sit down with me and enjoy a nice cup of tea :)

  • Mr. Milo Von Waffle
    Participant

    Well….Well…..I think my the hill was taken again…. I then proceed to go to my lab and make a hill teleporter with a hill flatten program with it. I then run towards the hill and before i reach it i shoot the bottom of the hill and teleport it somewhere only i know and definitely not in Egypt or anything like that and the people on the hill and force field fall because it only teleports the hill and nothing else. MUAHAHAHAHAHA I then proceed to board my own shuttle and fly towards Egypt. Then make a turn towards the UK.

  • I hit the undo button. Have a nice flight :)

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

     CTRL + C, CTRL + V

    HAHA! copy paste powers ACTIVATE!!!  now i have a clone army of ICEROYALE!! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!!!

  • EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

  • The DoctorDoth'Rah
    Participant

    Entering the Avatar state, I airbend everybody off the hill, land on the top and encase myself in rock surrounded by a ring of fire

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    hmmmm…..tricky…. well using my Iceroyal army i order them to throw there bodies on to of the fire to smother it, then i walk up the Rock encased Mikey and put my flag atop the now Bigger hill!

     

    my hill

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    I officially claim myself the winner for the second year in a row, on account that noone has replied on over a month :P

     

    one more victory for the Headmaster at the KHCA (King of the Hill Conquerors Academy)  :D

     

    i have constructed a new hill, it is in New Zealand! its a nice hill surrounded my trees and a meadow, and i sit atop of it. waiting for a challenger! 

     

    Hill 3, Round 1……FIGHT!

  • I bomb the hill into oblivion and make myself a new one from the debris.

     

    MY HILL

  • Brigadier Davis
    Participant

    I look down into the Crater that was left by Iceroyales bombing campaign in which he now sits atop a small pile of rubble which he claims to be a hill. I call in several tankers of cement to fill the crater (Iceroyal still inside) before calling in a team of landscapers to build me a new, perfect hill ontop of the now level ground, a hill of such breathtaking beauty and Hillishness that lesser mortals shall weep at the site of its tree topped crown. In the center of the peak is a small quiet pagoda in which I take tea.

  • The DoctorDoth'Rah
    Participant

    I visit the Brigadier at his Tea Pagoda and sneak laxatives into his cup 

    After he runs off to the bathroom I declare this new hill property of Miketopia!

  • Brigadier Davis
    Participant

    An unfortunate side effect of Mikeys brilliant laxative ploy is the rather unpleasant stench now wafting across the country side, enough to make a man gag and run for the safety of somewhere with a plentiful supply of scented candles. As Mikey flees the foul toxins drifting through the air, I don my engineers gas mask and return to my Pagoda.

  • I teleport out of the cement and take over the pagoda with an army of mutant monkeys

  • Jade Valor
    Participant

    using my army of small plastic soldiers i have gathered in my absence i storm the hill and take Iceroyal prisoner!  telling my army to secure the perimeter they start building fortifications made primarily out of beach sand and lincoln logs!  I sit in in the Brigadiers seat and sip wine, its delicate flavor oh so delicious.

     

    my hill!

  • After a long time plotting, I barge in with a horde of tanks and blast away the occupying force!

     

    my hill.

  • Corporal Frost
    Participant

    Descends from space with a fleet of UFOs toting high powered electro-magnets to move your tanks to the safety of the Marianas trench.

    My Hill

  • Blasts everyone of the hill with his patented Kame-ha-me-Belgium move.

     

    My hill.

  • Brigadier Davis
    Participant

    -purchasing a portal gun from some of my sketchier contacts at Aperture science, I proceed to fire an orange portal at a convenient piece of white wall over the ocean. Walking up to the hill and disposing of each and every person on it through Blue portals-

     

    I claim this hill for science!

  • *disproves science though metaphysical means that you just wouldn’t understand, then makes a lame excuse to build several sketchy-looking temples all over the hill*

     

    My hill

  • Brigadier Davis
    Participant

    Waits for the short period whilst your “psudo religion” flourishes, the watches as it tears itself and its temples appear it a violent disagreement over the interpretation a a word in the original religious text.

     

    I stroll up onto the hill, pushing over the few remaining flimsy religious buildings around me down with my hands before pulling up a desecrated alter on which to sit as my throne.

     

    (side note, the word they were fighting over was in fact was a mistranslation of cheese)

  • The cheese gods are angry at this, and rain down Mold and Fungus upon you. This does not, however, deter you, so they decide to use a cheese grater on you for eons and eons. Meanwhile, they resurrect me through the miracle of cheddar. My hill again.

    ALL HAIL CHEESE

  • Brigadier Davis
    Participant

    Whilst I wait for my slow and inevitable demise at the hands of the cheese grater of the gods (they haven’t started yet as they’re arguing over which type to use) I wade through the remains of mould and fungus they hurled at me and push Ice down the hill, returning to my alter/throne.

  • I spend years and years crawling through the endless muck of mould and fungul, to find an unlikely ally and together with them begin our final assault on the hill.

    You hear us coming.

    You know who we are.

    EXTERMINATE!!! EXTERMINATE!!!

     

    My planet.

  • Brigadier Davis
    Participant

    By close examination of You allies I determine that they are pre-1988 Daleks and there for easily defeated. During the slow advance of you and your army, I have my minions turn the hill into one giant set of steps with my Alter/Throne at the top, much like an Aztek Pyramid. My Hill!

  • With my trusty Tardis, it does not take me long to upgrade them to new-series-daleks. They easily levitate over the steps to EXTERMINATE you and your altars.

     

    My hill.

  • The DoctorDoth'Rah
    Participant

    I look into the heart of Iceroyale’s TARDIS, absorb the power of time and space and dub myself the Bad Wolf.

    Using my new found power I wipe the Daleks from existance (only for them to be found, alive and well in 5 turns time :p)

     

    I stroll the the center of the hill and sit down

     

    MY HILL!

  • I wipe your memory, stick you in a parallel universe, and you are never heard from again, except in flashbacks and segways.

     

    My hill.

  • WittyUsernameHere
    Participant

    I wipe your hard drive and climb the hill while you run towards your computer in a panic. :D

  • Commandant Beaker
    Participant

    shoots the blue portal at your feet. the orange is at the bottom of the hill btw. drop 3 senterys.

     

    MY HILL!

  • Prof. Magnus
    Participant

    I shoot you with my anti-gravity gun. My hill!

  • The DoctorDoth'Rah
    Participant

    I strap on my gravity boots, climb the hill and boot you off of it :p

     

    MY HILL!

  • Epsilon V. 2.5
    Participant

    I use my omnitool to short out your gravity boots and then turbo-kick you into the stratosphere!

    This hill is mine!

  • Korporal Kopper
    Participant

    Having submitted the plans for the ultimate war-vehicle to my minions to build for me, I shut down the multi-monitor view screens of the HILL, turned my swivel-throne and strode to the display capsule that contains my uniform. I hesitated for a moment, finger dancing on the glowing red button that would release the pod so that I can don the gold and black – a banner of my impending victory. With a final nod, I press the button and strap myself into the suit and make my way to the launch bay. Only to discover the minions have misread my schematics and my war-machine was made to 1/5th scale, and looked a bit like a steam powered Mario Kart choo-choo train. “No matter” I declared, victory would still be mine.

    Leaping into the miniature war-train, hunched over to grab the wheel and knees popping up uncomfortably, I shifted the copper-clad monstrosity into gear in ATV mode…chugging up the hill with all speed…chugga-chugga-chugga…Pulling the cord next to the wheel, my war-machine lets out a mighty battle cry: TOOOT-TOOOT! Powering up the hill, at ramming speed, I collide with it’s previous resident, the terrible clash tossing him into the air, tumbling through the sky into the side of a zeppelin that putters off beyond the horizon.

    With a puff of steam, I convert my Choo-Choo into siege mode, transforming it into an armored cannon-platform as I raise my flag, a black field with a single copper gear. I raise my chin and swell with pride. 

    Mission Accomplished: This hill is now mine.

  • *an army of drawwrrgons raze everything and everyone on the hill and dig me a drawwrrgon cave which i now reside in*

  • Dr. Innovatium
    Participant

    The sun blots as I arrive on a hot air balloon with a rocket launcher and a Gatling gun strapped to the bottom. The rocket launcher fires at Rainbow’s cave, causing it to fall in on itself, whilst the Gatling gun mows down the army of Drawwrrgons, and I gently land on top of the hill.

  • *digs out and summons an army of rawwrrgons (female drawwrrgons, and the fiercest of drawwrrgon kind) that take you to the gay Drawwrrgon (Drawwrrgons are male drawwrrrgons with a big D, they are very perverted and will attempt to do naughty with anything they see) mating grounds*

    Have fun ^_^

  • *Attempts to climb hill*

    *Sees a  Drawwrgon*

    *Backs off slowly*

    *Calls in an army of Pikachu’s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0WnZyxp_Wo*

    *Slowly moonwalks up hill *

    *Gets to top of hill*

    *Tips Fedora*

    *Slowly backs off*

  • Nessie
    Participant

    I toss pokeballs at all the pikachus and as they are captured i take the hill

    My hill

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