In search of answers…

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In search of answers…

    • CrazyRockwell
      Participant

      As an aspiring musician, I find myself alternately inspired and confounded by the legend of Dr. Steel. I’ll find myself binging on his catalog of music and propaganda and certain lyrics will stand out to me. Lyrics like “I can hear your voices beckon mine because you know, yes you know I’m gonna stand”. Lyrics like “Free me: I’ll drag a burning smile across this nation”. Lyrics like “may your dreams never die”.

      I think about what I would give in my life to have what he had: a message, a goal, and a devoted audience.

      And then, as I’m sure so many of you have endured, comes the nagging “WHY?”

      …but let’s not get too deep into that for now.

      I come to you asking humbly if there is a place where one such as myself can read his retirement letter. I’m exhausted from the speculation… and I know that I can’t expect an explicit explanation, but I need some kind of closure if I’m to accept the disappearance of one who’s work has impacted me so deeply.

      Even as I make this request, I fear it will be rejected: if those who were privileged enough to read it first hand wanted to share it, then I imagine I would have found it at some point in the past (almost) three years. Still, I have to ask.

      Furthermore, there’s another small bit of lore that I’ve been trying to rediscover: I recall shortly after his retirement, finding on youtube an amateur video of one Toy Soldier or another playing a bittersweet song on his acoustic guitar. The song asked “Who is Doctor Steel”, and if I remember correctly, the final verse answers that “You and I are Doctor Steel”… or something like that. I’d like very much to hear that song again.

      Sincerely,

      Crazy Rockwell

    • Sgt. Dutch
      Participant

      Greetings CrazyRockwell and welcome to the Army of Toy Soldiers.

      I can answer the first question, which is where you can read the retirement letter. It’s in the announcements forum: http://www.toysoldiersunite.com/forums/announcements/a-letter-from-dr-steel/

      As for that song, I haven’t a clue, never heard it. And I’m guessing you already tried googling it.

    • CrazyRockwell
      Participant

      Much obliged Sarge, that means an awful lot to me.

      I can’t say that I understand… in fact I suppose I’ll continue having to resign myself knowing that I cannot understand… but at the very least I can try to sympathize.

      From the gist of the forum rules I’m inferring that it would be inappropriate for me to speculate further on the nature of his “betrayal” and his “advisers”, so I won’t muddy things up with dark conspiracies. I suppose I can only hope that he finds solace in peace where he could not find it in revenge.

       

      Regarding the song I mentioned, I haven’t seen it in several years although I do go sifting through the internet for it on a semi-regular occasion. I had originally found it searching, simply, “Who is Doctor Steel” into youtube several years ago, but these days that search brings me more “Doctor Who” material than proper information.

       

      Again, my deepest gratitude for the link. As my obsession wanes, perhaps I can stop asking my girlfriend to “shave your head and put on this lab-coat.”

      Just kidding. That’s not going to change.

       

      I hope you folks don’t mind if I stick around for a bit. Maybe we can all have a nice chat sometime about UFO’s, magic, and dolls made of human hair.

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Please do stay CrazyRockwell, the good Doctor may have retired but he wished the army to carry on his work, and to do that we need every able bodied soldier we can muster. Boredom and banality wont defeat itself you know.

    • CrazyRockwell
      Participant

      Then it’s settled… I’m moving in with you guys. Hope you don’t mind the smell of patchouli and stale beer.

      If anybody’s interested, you can hear me and my palsy-walsy’s latest (2 years ago, thanks 9-5 job) album: http://meyousick.bandcamp.com/album/catastrophe

      #8 “Let it Burn” was partially inspired by Steel’s “Burn it all Down”, though I’m especially proud of track #10: “All Good”.

      It’s totally for sale, but if you stroke my ego by asking, I’m totally willing to mail out a copy to anybody who’s interested… giving music away for free is one of my favorite pastimes.

      Any other musicians in the house? I mean… I know there are musicians here, come fourth and be counted you artsy-fartsy folks.

       

      Anyway, I’m stationed in Chicagoland, so if you ever need somebody to stand on the corner of State and Monroe and shout terrible jokes into a megaphone, I’m your man.

    • Welcome aboard CrazyRockwell! 

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      This may be of interest to you Crazy

      http://www.toysoldiersunite.com/groups/#psiops

      We’ve got several soldiers who dabble in music both at an amature and professional level amongst us. im sure you’ll find them :p

    • I still read that letter from time to time.  At first I felt a deep sadness and confusion but over time learned to accept that our great former leader did what he felt was best for him.  I look at it now more in the respect of keeping our army of awesome going in every way possible.  I for one hope that someday my local division will re-surge again to help spread the positive message of creativity, positivity, love, unity, and most of all fun.  May the good doctor continue on with the peace and quiet he seeks.

    • Travellar
      Participant

      It’s easier to understand if you’ve ever just needed a few moments alone, and had trouble getting it.

      No easier to accept, but easier to understand.  I recall a time once myself, LARPing, I think, when I needed a few minutes to myself and headed into the darkness.  “We’ll come with you!”, as others grabbed their flashlights was not a welcome response.  And even if you do get away, it’s hard to find any peace in the darkness with shouts of “Where are you?” and the probing of lights.

    • Flare by N-N-E
      Participant

      @Travellar said:
      It’s easier to understand if you’ve ever just needed a few moments alone, and had trouble getting it.

      No easier to accept, but easier to understand.  I recall a time once myself, LARPing, I think, when I needed a few minutes to myself and headed into the darkness.  “We’ll come with you!”, as others grabbed their flashlights was not a welcome response.  And even if you do get away, it’s hard to find any peace in the darkness with shouts of “Where are you?” and the probing of lights.

      I can empathise … and yet … to leave end see nobody notice, to go into the darkness and have nobody try to get you back, or find out why … that seems like it would be much worse. 

    • I think it is moving to know you have effected someones life in a positive way. One lyric you have is inaccurate. Its “because you know I understand”.

      Best be said if we can gleane anything from the questionable letter is the good Doctor did not want it to turn out how it did and he did not wish to leave everyone behind. He certainly didnt mean to leave people wondering why. The Cercomstances were not of his making. 

      Those who inspire are inspired by those who have been inspired.

      Love and Iam

      Doctor J

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