Corrupt A Wish

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Corrupt A Wish

    • *Thanks to Jason Terry for this game. It’s real simple. One person makes a wish, the next person posting will grant it but with a negative twist. Then they make their own wish for the next lucky “Genie” to grant…

      I’ll start!

      I wish I had super powers.

    • Capt. Nolin Vultrus
      Participant

      Wish granted with the power to Fart doomsday bad gas!

      I wish I had a ray gun!

    • Capt. Nolin Vultrus
      Participant

      XD I asked my bro for an idea and that was the first thin he came up with. thought it was way too bad that it was good ROFL

    • Admiral AN-G
      Participant

      Instead of destruction your ray gun causes uncontrollable giggles in targets.

      I wish I could appear any where I wanted to visit.

    • Nuvasuper TS#40315
      Participant

      But you are blindfolded until you go back from whence you came.

      I wish I had a working portal gun :D

    • Corporal Tink
      Participant

      Wish granted, however you get captured by GLaDOS and forced to test the effects of prolonged exposure to laughter

      I wish i knew every language fluently

    • Capt. Nolin Vultrus
      Participant

      wish granted, but you cant speak at all >:)

      I wish i could fly!

    • YJ Grimm
      Participant

      Granted, you can fly, but for indeterminate amounts of time and you’ll never know when you’re gonna stop being able to.

      I wish I had a tail

    • Granted, but it’s a hippopotamus tail, so it looks terrible.

      I wish I had a piece of yummy cheesecake.

    • Captain Roberta
      Participant

      Wish Granted! But sadly it’s been past date for 2 years now in the back of your freezer.

      I wish it wouldn’t be so cold out.

    • Capt. Nolin Vultrus
      Participant

      the ozone layer dissapears and you cause the demise of the world

      I wish i had more leather to work with -_-

    • Granted, but then you completely forget what you’re going to use it for.

      I wish my hair was dry.

    • Commander Radar
      Participant

      Granted, your hair bursts into flame and scars your scalp so you can never grow it again.

      I wish for a Utopian Playland!

    • Granted but then the consortium show up and ruin it!

      I wish I had finished writing my own film

    • Capt. Nolin Vultrus
      Participant

      granted, but when they produce it ti is a total bust and you are now hundreads of thousands in debt.

      I wish i had a pet.

    • Fiat
      Participant

      Granted, but its a vicious alligator that bites your hand off. XD

      I wish I could play Guitar.

    • Alexis Rowell
      Participant

      Wish granted but you can only play when no one is around
      I wish I had wings

    • Dr. Elfinstone
      Participant

      Granted, but they replace your arms.

      I wish I had chocolate, right now.

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Granted, but You can never ever have chocolate again.

      I wish my body was back to health

    • Lefty Leaky
      Participant

      Granted, but you won’t use it, because you will take it for… granted.

      I wish I was wearing a cool hat.

    • Dr. Elfinstone
      Participant

      Granted, but it’s cool because it’s made entirely of ice, and you get a nasty case of pneumonia as a result.

      I wish I wasn’t sick.

    • Cadet Jenni-Anne
      Participant

      Granted, but you’re now the healthiest person on earth, and the paparazzi are constantly trying to take pictures of you in the privacy of your residence.

      I wish I had a pet otter.

    • Granted, but it has a knack for finding bad shellfish and leaves dirty poo puddles all over your home.

      I wish I had an amazing home on a large plot of land.

    • Commander Radar
      Participant

      Granted. The problem being it exists in the crater of an active volcano and the sulphur dioxide would kill you or any other life forms in a matter of minutes….

      I wish I had the ability to freeze time and start it back up as I pleased.

    • Lt. Gob
      Participant

      Granted, but your body is frozen in time while you use your power.

      I wish I cured aging.

    • Cadet Jenni-Anne
      Participant

      Granted, but there’s a bug in the cure and people no longer age passed infancy.

      I wish I could draw better than I can.

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but everybody elses drawing skills also increases, so you’ll still be below the average!

      I wish my room wasn’t so cold.

    • Sergeant Larks
      Participant

      Granted, now you’re melting in the heat of the sun.

      I wish my family in Idaho didn’t consist of mainly children under age 12.

    • Corporal Tink
      Participant

      Granted… they now consist mainly of children under 10
      I wish my hair wouldn’t grow so slowly

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but your hair would grow over a meter every day.

      I wish I was able to fly.

    • Granted, but your flight takes extreme flatulence.

      I wish I no longer had need of such pretty things as money.

    • YJ Grimm
      Participant

      Granted, you don’t need it any more, the local currency is now turnips.

      I wish my company would stop trying to mes me around.

    • Sergeant Larks
      Participant

      Granted, they fire you outright.

      I wish my boss would pay me already

    • Commander Radar
      Participant

      Granted, unfortunately they pay you with a briefcase of money that had been stolen and has an exploded ink cartridge in. You get caught by the police and accused of theft.

      I wish I was good at speaking German.

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but you’re now the only person in the world who speaks German.

      I wish my bus would arrive on time today.

    • Cadet Jenni-Anne
      Participant

      Granted, but it’s of zombies, so you really can’t get on.

      I wish I could read people’s minds whenever I wanted to.

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but their thoughts will be in an unknown language.

      I wish I had eggs enough to make pancakes.

    • Sergeant Larks
      Participant

      Granted, but they hatch before you can even think of cooking them.

      I wish I could find all the Poes in this Zelda game.

    • Commander M
      Participant

      Granted, but everything else disappears from the game!

      I wish I had teleportation powers like Nightcrawler.

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Granted, but unfortunately you also receive amnesia and cant remember anywhere you wish to teleport.

      I wish my room would just stay clean and tidy

    • Cadet Jenni-Anne
      Participant

      Granted, but now everything on the shelves, counters, tables, etc is now glued down and you csn’t pick anything up or move anything around.

      I wish I wish I could create and control balls of fire without burning myself.

    • YJ Grimm
      Participant

      Granted, but you incinerate everything within a two metre radius.

      I wish I could breathe underwater.

    • Sergeant Larks
      Participant

      Granted, but you can no longer breathe regular water.

      I wish I didn’t have to eat to survive.

    • Granted, but that’s only because you’re a vampire now. :P

      I wish I had a job.

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but you’ll have a low salary and be working so much that you don’t have time to do anything else.

      I wish I had awesome sewing skills.

    • Sergeant Larks
      Participant
    • Granted, but the only way for you to get it is to painstakingly make it yourself… and it doesn’t come out quite right.

      I wish I could find my shirt….

    • Missus Tea
      Participant

      You find your shirt–unfortunately, your boss is wearing it and stretched it out so much it looks like a tent when you finally get it back.

      I wish I was on a warm beach somewhere…

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but the beach is now full of old hawaiians playing the ukulele, so you can’t find a free spot.

      I wish I could fly..

    • Admiral AN-G
      Participant

      Just like Icharus you fly to high and burn up your wings and crash.

      I wish I had a car.

    • Granted, but it has no wheels.

      I wish my teeth were in better shape.

    • Cadeon
      Participant

      Granted. Now your teeth have muscles, and constantly hold your mouth open.

      I wish I could fly.

    • Granted, but you have no control over where and when you’ll fly, even indoors, causing you to frequently bump into the ceiling and crash into walls.

      I wish I had a soda.

    • Sergeant Larks
      Participant

      Granted, but it’s the Fizzy Lifting Drink from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and you’re lifted right off the earth.

      I wish tattoos weren’t so expensive in Idaho.

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but all you can get tattooed is now horribly drawn My Little Pony themed tattoos.

      I wish I could afford my new sword.. RIGHT NOW!

    • Rainboq
      Participant

      Granted, but the craftsmanship is terrible and it breaks before arriving.

      I wish I could go to the moon.

    • Cadeon
      Participant

      Granted, you are portaled to the moon, and pulled back to earth before being thrown into the vacuum of space- and then you realize you are Chell, and Mute.

      I wish I had a bigger garage.

    • Granted, but it’s enormous and they have to tear down your house to build it (because of codes), and you have to live in the huge garage-house.

      I wish my headache was gone.

    • KillerCapybara
      Participant

      Granted, your headache disappears only to be replaced with a stomachache.

      I wish I had a potato!

    • Granted, but it’s rotten.

      I wish I had a candy bar.

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but as soon as you touch it, it melts away.

      I wish I had a iced coffee.

    • Granted, but they’re not yours, they’re in your freezer, the police know, and they’ve arrived to have a word with you about it…

      I wish I didn’t have this pesky cough.

    • Sergeant Larks
      Participant

      Granted, instead of a cough, you have a pesky rash.

      I wish my tax return would come in the mail so I can make TS Day at Disneyland.

    • Granted, but instead of getting money back they tell you that you didn’t send enough.

      I wish I could get my 32 units done in one semester.

    • Nurse Imbri
      Participant

      Granted!
      But all of them are in underwater basketweaving, so you simply lose all grants and have to take the core for your major in another semester…

      I someone else would pack all my moving boxes

    • Click Click ZZZZZSSSSWOOSH! Granted!
      But all I packed all of your moving boxes inside of an elephant, so you will have to wait for him to poo them out for you to use.

      I wish my stuffed up and runny nose would clear up!

    • Commander JET
      Participant

      Your nose does dry up! But then it starts dropping out little mini fruit flavored chiclets!

      I wish I lived by the ocean!

    • Commander Radar
      Participant

      Granted. But due to global warming, sea levels rise and ruin a new pair of shoes you just bought.

      I wish my band hadn’t split up.

    • Granted, however now they all have decided to go in the direction of Country and Rap fusion.

      I wish these mini fruit flavored chiclets weren’t so darn delicious! LOL!

    • KillerCapybara
      Participant

      Granted. Look at your chiclets, now back to me. Now back to your chiclets, now back to me. Look again. Your chiclets are now broccoli!

      I wish schools stopped giving out homework.

    • Colonel Moriarty
      Participant

      Granted, but now there is insane amounts of classwork from the time you enter the building til the time you walk out the door. I wish i knew what to wish for :3

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but your wish doesn’t come true.

      I wish I had a buzz saw baby.

    • Granted, but it attacks you and everyone you love.

      I wish I had some cheesecake.

    • Drahcir
      Participant

      Granted, but it is severely burned.

      I wish this school would have a better communication.

    • Granted, but it’s through higher telepathy that can’t be turned off and now no one has a private thought to themselves.

      I wish I had a box of Scottish Breakfast tea.

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but the water gets poisoned so you can’t get any water for your tea.

      I wish I had more time to play video games at the moment!

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      You have the time but the fuse blew and the shops are closed.

      I wish it was summer all already.

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but it’s now horrible weather all summer.. More than usual that is.

      I wish I had some coffee.

    • Barrymaka
      Participant

      Granted, but it’s decaf.

      I wish I had a siberian husky.

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted.. Just granted, they are too cute to corrupt!

      I wish my laptop would stop overheating when I try to play vidya games!

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      You can stop it from overheating but you’ll have to use Barrymaka’s huskie’s yellow snow to do it.

      Wish we get to 1000, allready.

    • Zapper
      Participant

      Granted, but the 1000th user is a spam bot.

      I wish I could figure out how to get Lego House to sound right when playing it on guitar.

    • Barrymaka
      Participant

      Granted, but every guitar you’ll ever own will never be able to have a thick E string ever again.

      I wish to get better at blues guitar.

    • Col. Bear Sanguine
      Participant

      Granted. It takes over your life and you can’t stop your fingers trying to pluck mout the cords.

      I wish I had a kilt.

    • Sergeant Larks
      Participant

      Granted, but you’re required to wear undergarments with it.

      I wish I was moved into the new house already.

    • KillerCapybara
      Participant

      Granted, but your house is located on the grounds of frequent alien abductions. I wish you luck good sir.

      I wish I could meet a magical talking beaver named Pippy who would take me on adventures all over the galaxy in his teleporting beaver den using the powers of the Purple Pearl of Pinasch!

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but the network pull the show after only half a season, and all you are left with a bunch is unresolved issues (that were slated for season 4).

      I wish networks learn to keep the interesting cult shows around, instead of canceling them way to early.

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted but they never show them in order and air them once a week at 3:00AM.

      I wish i could travel back in my past to where everything was wonderful! Toonami was in its prime, and the cool TV shows where on like the original Bey-blade, Metabots, and Code Lyoko where being aired! and Sega was still in the Console business!

      [End Message]

    • TS-Neoma Cariad
      Participant

      Granted but you realize that all those old things were actually really cheesy!!!

      I wish All of my assignments were handed in and finished

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted but they not only where fully of plagiarism and wrong answers but spontaneously combusted after being read/presented and caught the school/office on fire ending in your being expelled/fired & blacklisted, and unable to get a husband because all new age men are lazy bums and want thire wives to work for them! (i love worse case scenarios ) :mrgreen:

      I wish i could visit Japan…..

      [End Message]

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but photo nr 6 is of the underside of Godzilla’s left foot. *splat*

      I wish, on 21-12-12, to be able to shout to a crowd: “I told you so!” (regardless what happens… or fails to happen)

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted but the crowd has no idea what your talking about and continues on with their silent little lives.

      i wish, i can get my server and Wolf Network up and running :D

      [End Message]

    • TS-Neoma Cariad
      Participant

      Granted its working but its slower than molasses

      I wish that I could fly

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but you cannot land and its terrible weather.

      Wish I could get all toysoldiers together for tea. (with crumpets offcourse)

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted but your mind has insufficient memory and so the alteration process frys your brain turning you into a vegetable.

      I wish i could overcome the irresistible power of bubble wrap! if i can over come it i will truly have a strong mind!

      [End Message]

    • Granted. You are now MADE of bubble wrap. You are forced to stay indoors for fear of being killed by people waking by, discovering a “Bubble Wrap Doll.” Sorry I could not save your mind…
      :wink:

      I wish I had a sammich right about now…bout now…bout now. :mrgreen:

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted. Its a Kiviak Sandwich, though. Hope you like Inuit delicacies.

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      ahhh Durmut didn’t make a WISH!!!! the cycle is broken!
      *sees someone eying my bubble wrap body* HANDS OFF BUB! *slaps person and runs*

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Darn, I don’t know how that happened, I could swore I typed it.

      I wish this thread to continue!

    • TS-Neoma Cariad
      Participant

      It continues but it dies slowly killing everyones hopes with it. :(

      I wish music would get better again

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted but the voice is so hypnotic that anyone listing to them wile driving race of of cliffs and get killed again. 8-O

      I wish i could think of an incorruptible wish! :mrgreen:

      [End Message]

    • Barrymaka
      Participant

      Granted, but moments later it is forgotten.

      I wish I had a time machine…

    • Nobody
      Participant

      Granted, but you will forget it immediately after it’s concieved. :P

      I wish that I wasn’t so afraid of horses. :/

    • Nobody
      Participant

      Oops! Sorry. Now I wish I had one to go back in time and comment earlier. :/

    • Nobody
      Participant

      Granted, you now have a time machine! But the controls are so insanely complicated that you can’t figure out how to use it. :P

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted but a horse wearing an old French PI outfit stalks you for the rest of your life!

      I wish i had the power of invisibility!

      [End Message]

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted and you even get the powers of silence and to become incorporeal, but you can shut them off.

      Wish common farm animals could fly. It’ll make live a lot more interesting.

    • Barrymaka
      Participant

      Granted, but the animals do not know how to use heir flying abilities, with some only spontaneously “stumbling” across them.

      I wish that my audition tomorrow will go well. :3

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      wish granted. but at the end of your act you break a leg causing a stand in to take your place during the live show.

      I wish my collar bone healed right when i broke it…it now causes me much pain at very inopportune times. :-|

      [End Message]

    • Nobody
      Participant

      Granted, but whilst you are enjoying your properly healed collar bone, you get into an awkward conversation with an exceptionally talkitive pedestrian who asks to go golfing with you, but you can’t use an improperly healed collar bone that hinders your swing as an excuse to get this obnoxiously friendly person to leave you be.

      I wish I had long hair again. I miss how I frighten old people… :/ :P

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      you are a cruel person silent! :D and that be just my luck too!

      Granted but the hair grows EVERYWHERE and at a rate of 1 inch/hour. by mid-afternoon the next day you are referred to as Cousin IT. :mrgreen:

      i wish i had more time to devote to my Japanese language studies…

      [End Message]

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but due to a unforseen tsunami spilling over from the “King of the Hill” game, it is now an extinct language.

      I wish I knew how to code for games.

    • Nobody
      Participant

      Granted, but as you delve deeper into the complex world of game coding, you are sucked into the tron universe and unfortunately get derezzed. :P

      I wish that I could speak telepathically as well read people’s minds…

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted but you are traumatized and scared for life by what you see in some people’s minds driving your further away from sanity that you ever wished to delve!

      I wish i had the ability to Control the Stone “JADE”

      [End Message]

    • YJ Nurse Risa
      Participant

      Wish granted. You now have complete control over shaping, moving, and locating the stone “jade.” However, you lose control over everything else in your life. Your job, your bills, your relationships, your hunger, and even your bowels.

      I wish all orphans could be adopted into happy families.

    • Sergeant Larks
      Participant

      Granted, but the families are happy because they’re cannibals who enjoy feasting on small children D:

      I wish for world peace!

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted but the World has been ripped asunder in the process for world peace, and everyone is the same as the other to keep the peace, so no one thinks outside the box…no one can have a different opinion….so no one can start a fight because of it.

      i wish…i wish…..i could live my life without fear.

      [End Message]

    • Granted, but you beome so daring without your fear that you attempt skydiving and end up in a coma, only to wake up 40 years from now.

      I wish for a better steam capacitator on my hot air balloon cannon.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but it’s so large you have to mount it on an orbital station as the crust of the earth can not support it. And the use of hot air balloons is highly questionable in space.

      I wish Politicians were less concerned with promoting there own personal goals instead of looking out for the welfare of their constituents. (more about this in the venting thread soon, gumble)

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Wish granted! but….but….darn this is a hard one to corrupt…..ummmm but right as they start getting thire act together a spontaneous explosion caused from some random minds basement goes off, wiping all memories of them actually being politicians!

      i wish Zeppelins made a comeback in modern war and society in general. (all we have are blimps witch just suck, they dont inspire awe! have no class! and are less durable in general!)

      [End Message]

    • Dr. Jeremiah
      Participant

      Well, you get your Zeppelins, but they are filled with Hydrogen instead of Helium. BOOM! There goes your Zeppelins.

      I wish I had a sandwhich, with roast beef.

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Hey hydrogen is better anyway :D

      Granted but the Sandwich bread is stale and crusty and the roast beef was taken from a bull who was still alive, and now stalks you until it gets its revenge!

      i wish that the future WONT be like in the jettsons…its be rather boring if it was.

      [End Message]

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but the future turns out to be more like the Flintstones.

      I wish for a little more certainty in my life.

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted but you know EVERYTHING in your life, and after awhile you realize that no mater what you do you cant stray from the footsteps in the sand, doomed to follow and knowing you cant change…..knowing the future and knowing that you CANT change what you see…..it is one of the harshest punishments imaginable.

      i wish my fire-breathing project for english goes ok..i dont want to be set on fire :D

      [End Message]

    • Lady Grey
      Participant

      It goes well, really well… You set everyone and everything on fire and then get sent to jail for arson.

      I wish that we would make contact with an alien life form.

    • Nobody
      Participant

      Granted, but the alien gets your phone number somehow and turns out to be very obnoxious and talkitive life form and calls and texts you at the most inconvenient times. :P

      I wish that I could duplicate myself and be in several places at once…

    • Granted, however you run into another you and the encounter could create a time paradox, the result of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum and destroy the entire universe! Granted, that’s a worst-case scenario. The destruction might in fact be very localized, limited to merely our own galaxy.

      I wish I was cool, successful and happy.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, and it feels so good, adictively good, you need more and more until you outshine everybody. That makes the wrong people very jealous and they plot your downfall, but you’re to happy to see that and to cool to be paranoid. Good Luck.

      I wish i had an ice cream.

    • TS-Neoma Cariad
      Participant

      Granted but its all melted and health and safty have declared it unsafe.

      I wish I could go to expo for all 3 days

    • Anonymous
      Guest

      Granted, but everyone who shows up are zombies.

      I wish I had a demon-possessed ’55 Cadillac ambulance.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but now your front lawn has become a camping place for very talkative exorsists waiting to ambush your car and handing out flyers to all passersby with titles like “You’re going to hell” and “why you are a bad person”. Quickly you get shunned by friends and neighbors.

      I wish teleportation was a everyday (perfectly save) transportation option.

    • Granted, but it’s safe for the same reason that Air Travel is so safe now; if the tiniest little thing is wrong, they make you wait hours and hours to use it – and they find minor errors frequently.

      I wish I had a bar of chocolate with absolutely nothing wrong with it. *trollface*

      – Good Tidings and Banshee Bandages,
      Dr. Sheilagh R. Elfinstone, D. Pr. M.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      granted but your not the only one that wants it. The big German Sheppard wants a it to and all that stands between it and it’s treat is you. And for some unknown reason your wearing a tellytubbie nightgown, which will not give you much protection against the dog’s teeth. O-oh.

      I wish for nothing.

    • Anonymous
      Guest

      Granted, but now you can’t be an active member of TSU, because you have no smartphone or computer.

      I wish I had a German Shepherd.

    • Granted, but it’s a man from Bavaria who looks after sheep for a living, not a dog. And he speaks absolutely no English. And he’s REALLY angry at you for taking him away from his flock for no apparent reason.

      I wish this headache would go away.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      It packs it backs and leaves for good. Unfortunately You can now never use this as an excuse again, no more dodging tests, no more convenient excuses to get away for boring people.

      I wish for a bottle of clear Absinthe.

    • sergentmichael
      Participant

      wish granted then you no longer need it

      i wish i had more people for invasions

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but they are complete strangers teleported from all over the world, appearing, against their will, with a expression on their face saying “WTF? What am i doing here? and where is here? and who are you anyway?” making you answer all these question and not being able to enjoy the convention.

      I wish I would get more sleep at night (or seeing I work evenings, at day, but that sounds so.. iffy).

    • sergentmichael
      Participant

      granted but you only get 1 min more becuse your woken up by hobo with a maga phone who never lets you sleep agein

      i wish dr.steel was back

    • Granted, but it’s Doctor Sherman M. Steel, pediatrician.

      I wish I had some ice cream.

      – Well Wishes and Intergalactic Itch Cream,
      Dr. Sheilagh R. Elfinstone, D. Pr. M.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but it’s a forty gallon container of earwax flavor for dessert, you’re not allowed to leave the table till it’s done and Doctor Who is on in 5 minutes.

      I wish this migraine would go away… and send me a postcard from wherever it’s buggered off to.

    • Barrymaka
      Participant

      Granted, but the migraine has gone somewhere you could only long to be, and you’ll never be able to go there.

      I wish Nightwish would come to Ireland and I could see them :3

    • Granted, but it’s just catching a glimpse of their tour bus as they drive past you on your way somewhere urgent.

      I wish I had a tasty slice of guava cheesecake.

      – Glad Tidings and Mad Science Burn Ointment,
      Dr. Sheilagh R. Elfinstone, D. Pr. M.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but it is delivered in an unbreakable case.

      I wish for certainty.

    • Granted, but you only have certainty about when you’re going to get the hiccups next, and can do absolutely nothing to stop them.

      I wish it was cooler in here.

      – Well Wishes and Anti-Jinx Tonic,
      Dr. Sheilagh R. Elfinstone, D. Pr. M.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      The temperature drops staggeringly. Before you know it, Dr. Victor Freeze, the Batman villain, is your room mate and he hogs the TV remote and bed covers, not to mention keeps his frozen wife in the icebox.

      I wish I wasn’t going to be unemployed soon.

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Granted, You are now detained at Her Majesties pleasure meaning You are not in fact classed as unemployed.

      I wish I was finished with college and qualified.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted. You get your degree, but unemployment has caused a rise in qualifications asked for by employers, so the only thing you can do with your degree is sit behind a cash-register.

      I wish for a nice holiday

    • Violet Oblivion
      Participant

      Granted. Everyone gets a wonderfully nice holiday with lots of gifts and candy…except for you.

      I wish there were more conventions in my area.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      They build a new convention center, but the only conventions the hold are tailored to senior citizens, like hearing aid conventions and similar venues.

      *I wish for cheese*

    • Aym
      Participant

      Your wish is granted, but it is casu marzu.

      I wish I could find a comfortable pair of steel toe boots.

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Wish granted, but the heels are made out of cardboard and get soggy anf fall apart after the first walk in the rain.

      I wish i could forget and learn things like a pokemon could. id gladly forget half of what i know about English if it ment i could learn Nihongo (Japanese language)

      [End message]

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      You get your wish but 90% of the time your stuck inside a duo chromic ball and you are only let out to participate in spelling bees.

      *I wish i had a working life sized spaceship*

    • Ophelia Pemberton
      Participant

      *Granted* But it breaks down in space,

      I wish I had a job.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but it’s as a henchmen for a bond villain, and the medical insurance sucks.

      I wish Unnamed gave Chrysalice back and to hear her tell tales of crumpets and tea, instead of anything shocking.

    • Ophelia Pemberton
      Participant

      Granted! But whenever she talks its in a dead language that no one has ever heard of before.

      I wish Emilie Autumn would come to my birthday next month.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      She arrives but only to steel your cake before she runs off, only to get very sick of the glazing and having to cancel an upcomming tour, for which you are blamed.

      I wish Terry Pratchett didn’t have Alzheimer.

    • Raptor
      Participant

      Wish granted, but for every new book he writes, he develops another personality.

      I wish I had the brilliant mind of Tony Stark.

    • Sgt. Dutch
      Participant

      Wish granted. You have the superb intellect and brilliant cunning that can only be Tony Stark. However, you are now a chimpanzee, and all your brilliant talent is only recognized by your trainers with the response of “Awwww, he’s trying to kiss me.”.

      I wish people would stop asking me daft questions.

    • Raptor
      Participant

      Wish granted, but you’re the trainer who has to put up with me :P

      I wish I could drive a mech

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Wish granted, but it is a garbage disposal mech and your on the slaughterhouse run.

      I wish for a white Christmas

    • Lt. Sophie
      Keymaster

      Wish granted, but instead of snow you’ll get mayonnaise.

      I wish I had a three-headed monkey.

    • Aym
      Participant

      Wish granted, but it eats your face while you’re sleeping.

      I wish killer whales ate more great whites per year.

    • Granted. Now Killer Whales are being hunted for decreasing the Great White population to near extinction.

      I wish I had Foamy the Squirrel’s Amityville Toaster. ;)

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      You receive one (what ever it is) but it can only toast squirrels and they come out all foamy.

      I wish for a cheese helmet.

    • Granted, but its way too small to fit you and the cheese is too rotten for you to eat.

      Well Wishes and Ghost Antacids,
      – Dr. Sheilagh R. Elfinstone, D. Pr. M.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      And your wish is……????

    • Ophelia Pemberton
      Participant

      To fly with monkey in a land of poop!

      I wish I had my boyfriend right now…

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Your wish is granted but he’s 600 pounds and only plays computer games of a questionable nature all day.

      I wish fish heads came in more flavors.

    • Granted, but all of them are as or more terrible than the original flavor.

      I wish I had a pumpkin donut, a slice of pumpkin pie, a slice of pumpkin cheesecake, and a dish of pumpkin ice cream (I have an unhealthy fondness for anything pumpkin).

    • Ophelia Pemberton
      Participant

      Granted but when you eat it they all taste like cinnamon apple!

      I wish David Tutera would organize my whole wedding without me paying for it…

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      wish granted but since you get what you pay for all he did was convince a hobo to be a stand in priest for your wedding.

      i wish i was born in feudal Japan…..

      [End Message]

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but it is as a chicken.

      I wish it stopped raining

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      granted but now its hailing.

      i wish i had the Pokemon ability to forget things to instantly learn new things.

    • Ophelia Pemberton
      Participant

      Granted but then PETA takes all your pokemon away

      I wish my parents accepted my sexuality.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but now they set up your dates for you like an indian familly would and their choices are quite the opposite of your likes.

      I wish that progression in real live was as easy as in videogames. (I’ll even take monsters and zombies above the crushing numbness of unimployment anyday)

    • Ophelia Pemberton
      Participant

      Granted! But you turn into a cannabalistic zombie destroying all your coworkers.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Nom Nom Nom….

      And you wish is?

    • Ophelia Pemberton
      Participant

      Forgot about that…

      I wish that my feet wouldn’t hurt at work.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, they are fed up withj it too, so the opt to have seperate jobs from you making you having to do your work with out feet. Now, you may think the extra income is worth the inconfeniance, but they blow there pay check on booze, junk food, candy and (weirdly) knitting magazines.

      I wish my favorite (still living) writer, Terry Pratchett, didn’t have alzheimers.

    • Ophelia Pemberton
      Participant

      Granted but he then gets Amnesia and forgets all the work he’s ever done and thinks he’s a ballerina unicorn.

      I wish my life was better than it is now.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but that is worse in so many other ways.

       

      I wish I had a donut.

    • KillerCapybara
      Participant

      Granted! You are now wearing a top hat made of ice on your head (what’s cooler than ice?)! Due to the immense coolness of the top hat, you immediately suffer from a severe case of brain freeze.

      I wish my drawing skills would become better.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but you now have to life with the jealousy of your peers and there continuing machinations to take you down a peg.

       

      I wish that a certain television station stopped cancelling the good TV shows and renewing the cheap badly written and derivative ones.

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted but the logic of doing so gives the producers massive head trauma and they cancel the station a week latter!

       

      speaking of art i wish my drawing for this contest on FAC can compete!

    • Jack
      Participant

      Granted, it also wins. But it is so awesome it drives everyone who sees it insane.

       

      I wish Steampunk technology worked and was commonplace.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but the coal fumes turns the world as grey and dirty as 1850’s London. The smoky air becomes so grimy that it is hardly breathable. On the other hand, TSU members make brisk trade in designer mouth guards and gas masks.

       

      I wish for the next participant to give me different answer.

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Wish granted…but….but……can any bad come from such a wish…..and answer you dont like mabey???   DARN YOU DERMUT!!!!

       

      i wish i had a giant airship!

    • Engineer Airhead
      Keymaster

      Granted, but while that plane is most definitely giant – It’s made of thousands upon thousands of twigs. – Environmentalists generally dislike you, plus this aircraft has a good chance of falling apart.

       

      I wish I could hypnotize people at the snap of my fingers!

    • Snackcakes McGee
      Participant

      Wish granted, but you have no way to snap them out of it.

      I wish it wasn’t winter.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, It is extremely cool ’cause it’s made of Ice and snow. Your only choice is to move to the poles or let it melt on the first warm day that comes along. To bad, so sad.

       

      I wish for a golden dawn.

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted, but it is the last dawn you will ever live to see.

      I wish I could ride a Utahraptor to work every day.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but your job is mucking out the pens where the diarrhoeic brontosauruses are kept while they recover.

       

      I wish for a new season of firefly.

    • Seargent Smiles
      Participant

      granted, but it is a “revision” [aka, nothing like the original], and is poorly done.

      i wish i had a hobbit hole home, like bilbo baggins from the hobbit.

    • Epsilon V. 2.5
      Participant

      Granted! But your home collapses upon itself while you sleep.

       

      I wish I could design working plasma weaponry for my fellow Toy Soldiers.

    • Flare by N-N-E
      Participant

      Granted, but they are so far ahead of our current technology level no one else can understand the designs and you do not ahve the materials to build them.

       

      I wish I had the seventh mystical Thong of virtue (the thong of imagination made manifest)

       

      [detaisl about the six other thongs here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thongs_of_Virtue ]

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted, but you turn into a video game character and will die the moment the power is unplugged. Also, the mystic thong gives you a mystic wedgie.

      I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and… I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any more weird surprises, you got it!

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      granted….but you live you life without excitement because you never have another surprise in your entire life………

       

      i wish for….not one…but TWO HA’PENNIES!!    (^o^)/

       

      [End Message]

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but they are immovably stuck to the floor.

       

      *I wish for more happiness in the world*

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      granted and better than you wished for, thier is no sadness or pain at all anymore…but because thier is no conflict of ANY KIND NOW life is very…very…vvveerryyy BORING!

       

      *i wish i had the money to buy my Kimono*

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      NOT Granted.

      But the kimono of your dreams flutter down on the wind so you don’t need the cash. Unfortunately, you will have to fight all the woman in Japan (and a few non Japanese as well) for it.

       

      I wish tap water came in interesting flavours.

    • Silent Addle
      Participant

      Granted, but the water tastes different after every sip and there’s a one in three chance it’s going to be something the drinker doesn’t like.

       

      I wish I could speak a econd language, English alone is so boring.

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      agreed and granted!….unfortunetly its a language long forgotten and your the only one who knows it.

       

      i wish for…..my smiley shads in prescription lenses.(i hate having to where glasses to see.)

    • Rage-O-Meter
      Participant

      Granted But, they get absorbed into your eyes causing blindness. At least the smiley’s are still there!

       

      I wish for Free Laser eye surgery by experts of that field. (Welcome to the club Jade without my glasses i rely on echo location.)

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Granted, you now have lasers instead of eyes, You cant see anything and dont know how to activate them either.

       

      I wish for a pool table

    • Mike Bigelow
      Participant

      Granted but water from the “pool” table ruins the floor….

      I wish for the snow to go away.

    • Rage-O-Meter
      Participant

      Not Granted instead you’ll have a snowstorm this Friday like the rest of us.

       

      I wish for tank that fires ice-cream.

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted but it has a self destruct mechanism wired into the firing control systems.

       

      i wish that i could just disappear for Valentines day…

       

    • Granted, however Valentine’s Day is cancelled due to a disappearance that was planned.

       

      I wish my legs weren’t completely numb!

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      granted but now your hands are numb!

       

      i wish i had a biplane to initiate my plan “Operation Shower the masses”

      [End Message]

    • Rage-O-Meter
      Participant

      Granted, the Biplane is in pristine condition and nothing is wrong with the plane except that it is bright pink and cannot be painted, enjoy.

       

      I wish i had a laboratory.

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      well worth it!

      Granted but its a USED laboratory and comes only half stocked, have manned, a $5000 electric bill AND all the giant robots are gone!

       

      I wish i could get that feeling you get when playing your favorite games for the first time all over again.

    • Sgt. Pinkerton
      Participant

      Granted: but you also suck at it, just as you sucked the first time…

      I wish I could be more with my friends from the high-school.

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted, but now they are all boring and have jobs and MAN how did you ever like these people anyway? (Heh, if this hasn’t happened to you yet, it is probably looming on the horizon.)

      I wish to have a wish that cannot be corrupted.

    • Commander JET
      Participant

      The only way your wish will not be corrupted, is if it is for someone else! ;)

      I wish I was a real Commander..of a Battlestar! XD

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      wish granted commander….unfortunately you command an army of redshirts! AANNDD! you are commander of the death star the night before the rebel attack!

       

      I wish the old Beyblade’s caught on again! man thouse battle tops with thier plastic and metal blades where awesome!…even when we got cut up :mrgreen:

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but they are now 40 feet high and just won’t stop spinning.

       

      I wish I had a pet jellyfish.

    • Granted, but it’s a psychopatic killer

       

      I wish I could become world emperor

    • Sgt. Pinkerton
      Participant

      Granted, you can, but you won’t.

      I wish I was taller.

    • Granted, but you are a tree

      I wish I could eat whatever I wanted without gaining any body fat

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted, but it will provide you no nourishment either.

      I wish for snow. (Ha! Granted!)

    • Granted, but the snow is sulphuric acid

      I wish for more money

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but the normal loss of bodyfat due to energy depletion doesn’t stop. Soon you look real anorexic and soon you don’t have the power to move anymore. While the nurse who feeds you is very nice the rest of your life ins’t. Also your alway cold.

       

      I wish good writers didn’t die.

    • Cadeon
      Participant

      Instead of dying, Edgar Allen Poe becomes the worst killer ever known to man, slaying anything that expresses any happiness. Due to his immortality, this goes on until the end of time. 

      I wish I was a good writer. 

    • Mannerings
      Participant

      Granted , but all you can write is the insipid romance novels in the vein of 50 Shades Of Grey.

      I wish for more rum.

    • Commander Radar
      Participant

      Granted. Unfortunately you stop being able to absorb nutrients and end up having to inject yourself with liquidised food.

       

      I wish my actions didn’t have consequences.

    • Granted, nothing you do matters anymore or changes anything, you go unnoticed for the rest of your life, and after death nobody even remembers you ever existed (bleak, isn’t it?)

       

      I wish I had a giant statue of myself

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted. But it exists in a space that only you can notice and if you ever bring it up to anyone else, they will think you are crazy.

      I wish to have all and only those things which I have.

    • Dr Z
      Member

      Granted but they are invisible

      I wish i had a better workshop

    • Granted, but it is occupied by oompa loompas on strike

       

      I wish for a better world

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted, but it exists only in your mind. And each day, you will compare the world in your head to the one you experience and notice how imperfect the world you live in really is.

      I wish for Cthulhu to rise, the Great Old Ones to return, and humanity to be driven insane and destroyed.

    • Dr Z
      Member

      granted but he is groggy and takes a thousand year nap

       

      i wish i had a drink

    • Granted, but it is a magical drink that transports you to R’lyeh, where you get gobbled up by Great Cthulhu for disturbing his nap.

       

      I wish for an actual factual Necronomicon

    • Dr Z
      Member

      granted but it doesnt allow you to read its contents to use it in any way

       

      i wish i wish in Cthulhu’s stomach 

    • Granted, as the archaic stomach fluids start to dissolve your clothing, you are wishing something out of the depths of your fragile mind. What you are wishing, you know not. A cupcake? A way out of this sepulchre of ages past? You know not. All the while, your mind continues to break down piece by piece while the being whose stomach you are in continues to slumber.

       

      I wish for cotton candy

    • Commander Radar
      Participant

      Granted, but it comes wrapped in plastic and once you take the plastic off you accidentally throw the cotton candy in the bin instead. Which proceeds to get covered all sorts of crunchy surprises.

       

      I wish I had a new hat

    • Granted, but the hat turns out to have a dread curse upon it, causing you to sprout tentacles from the upper lip, and your hands to turn into crab claws. Also, you get a hard lobster-like shell, and you are suddenly a ‘medical’ doctor.

       

      I wish I had more futurama to watch

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted, but the new episodes are so bad that they actually ruin the whole show for you, making you long for days when your vision of the show was not so corrupted.

      I wish to be BFFs with Pinkie Pie.

    • Granted, but she dies in a horrible hair-dryer accident, leaving you heartbroken and alone for all eternity (your other friends stopped talking to you cause Pinky Pie is weird)

       

      I wish to be an actor

    • Dr Z
      Member

      granted but only b-star

      i wish i had better shoes

    • Granted. However, their being better is offset by the fact that they automatically fill with scalding hot lava when pressure is applied to the bottom

       

      I wish for a spaceship

       

    • Dr Z
      Member

      granted however as you open the door it literaly opens up to space

       

      i wish i had a kitkat bar

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted, but before you can eat it, a crow snatches it away and flies off leaving you with no chocolate at all.

      I wish I didn’t have to grade finals.

    • Granted. However, you also have no education, and no job.

       

      I wish I had a gun that had easter bunnies for ammo

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but everytime you fire it you have to clean the chocolate out.

       

      I wish I had a time machine.

    • Dr Z
      Member

      granted but it only take you to the year of the black plague 

       

      i wish i had a snow globe

    • Granted, but it has nuclear winter snow

       

      I wish it wouldn’t rain so much

    • Dr Z
      Member

      granted it snow all the time

      i wish i had a pool

    • Granted, but it’s full of sharks

       

      I wish for a better pc

    • Sgt. Pinkerton
      Participant

      Granted, but you become so addicted you forget about everything else

      I wish I had more time for my assignment.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, you have all the time in the world ’cause you will never finish!!!!

      I wish everyone to get some yummy ice cream.

       

    • YJ Grimm
      Participant

      Yummy yes but dreadfully bad for you… and everyone gets a nasty tummy ache.

       

      I wish I could go to bed.

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted, but you still can’t get to sleep. You are just chained to your bed, forever.

      I wish I could remember how to just relax for more than a few hours at a time.

    • vicky_fgm
      Participant

      Granted.  You now have Narcolepsy.

      I wish my fella could have the money to visit soon.

    • Engineer Airhead
      Keymaster

      wish granted, he has the money now, just dosnt have the time…

       

      i wish i was a vampire…

       

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Wish granted. You sparkle in the sunlight and follow emotionless teenaged girls through high school. Kinda creepy.

      I wish I had a date tonight.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but I fear he is much more pleased to she you than you him. Maybe it’s his hygiene.

       

      I wish to read in tomorrows newspaper: “Justin Bieber arrested in open-and-shut fraud/arson case. Faces 30 years.”

    • vicky_fgm
      Participant

      Granted, but your home is his Jail.

      I wish for the power of flight

    • Granted, but you are a bird

       

      I wish for the most delicious food ever created

    • Commander Radar
      Participant

      Granted, but you burn your mouth on the first bite so badly you can no longer taste.

       

      I wish for a batch of mind control cookies.

    • Granted, but I tweaked the formula somewhat. Welcome to servitude :p

       

      I wish for a good job

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted. Someone will now tell you “Good Job”… once you find suitable employment.

      I wish I was better at talking to people.

    • Granted, you are VERY adept at talking to people…. deaf people

       

      I wish for cookies

    • vicky_fgm
      Participant

      Granted but you cannot clear the cache on your now too clogged PC

      I wish for a holiday

    • Granted, but it is your very last holiday

       

      I wish for icecream

    • vicky_fgm
      Participant

      Granted but gone off milk has been used.

      I wish my cat would stop killing little birdies

    • Granted, it now kills big birdies

       

      I wish for good grades

    • vicky_fgm
      Participant

      Granted, but at the cost they will never be useful to anything in your life.

      I wish for a barbeque

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted. The Cannibals will be over once you finish cooking.

      I wish my life was more fulfilling.

    • Col. Bear Sanguine
      Participant

      Granted. You’re now in a slave colony where you are forced to make sure that packets of various things are as full as possible or else you will be whipped.

      I wish that I owned a successful business.

    • Granted but it’s sued by Apple for millions making you bankrupt.

      I wish I have enough cash to never work again.

    • Sgt. Pinkerton
      Participant

      Granted, but you can’t do anything again. You are tied to your hospital bed and your money pays for the equipment to keep you alive.

      I wish everything was easier.

    • Everything is suddenly very easy, but it doesn’t take long before you die of boredom…

      I wish I could witness the birth of the universe.

       

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Wish granted: You are present at the birth of the universe, but due to the lack of any kind of matter before the Big Bang, you are slightly too busy Dying  to notice on of the greatest marvels of all time going on around you.

       

      I wish I could get a job with the company I want.

    • You get the job at the company you want, but it’s not exactly the job you wanted; cleaning the toilets.

      I wish it was cooler at the office

    • JERICO
      Participant

      granted :: but now the office is too cool for a nerd like you

       

      i wish i had a working car

    • Granted, but the car working shifts at the local cannery means you can only have the car 3 days in 14 on a rotating shift pattern.

       

      I wish I could get more undisturbed sleep.

    • Epsilon V. 2.5
      Participant

      Granted, but in your sleep, you do not wake to stop the horrible crimes in your street that happen each night exactly after you fall asleep.

      I wish I could switch between my real life and the life of my rp character.

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      Wish granted ! You switch your life with the life of your rp character but the game master makes you die.

      I wish I could fly.

    • Wish granted, you can now fly, but you didn’t pay attention and hit an airplane in the turbine. You and the airplane both crash horribly…

      I wish I could go to the moon

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      (Though I’d fly too close to the sun :) )

      Wish granted ! You go to the moon but find out its just a rock on low gravity and can’t get back to earth.

      I wish I could lick my elbow.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, your upper arms now shrink till your elbow is in reach. Makes you look kinda funny though.

       

      I wish I could be sure I’d live happily (ever after not necessary, couldn’t stand immortality).

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      That’s quite hard to corrupt but anyway, GRANTED ! You live happily for the rest of you live, but that will be only for you cause you’re mad and you’re in a small room inside a psychiatric hospital.

       

      I wish I could drink without ever having an hangover.

    • Granted, but because all your natural protections against alcohol are gone, you drink yourself to death.

      I wish I had a personal assistant who does everything for me.

    • Commander Radar
      Participant

      Granted, but when you let a sarcastic “kill me now” loose the assistant takes it seriously.

       

      I wish my hair would obey me.

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      Granted ! And you lost your will to do something with your hair so it doesn’t change anything.

      I wish I can control time.

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Granted, You are given a Thyme plant that is completely under your control

       

      * I wish women made sense*

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, you get your sex change done and now have complete understanding of the subject.

      Wish the weather was more controllable.

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      Granted ! A war is declared to have the control of the weather and it destroys the humanity.

      I wish I were dead. (Maybe the corruption could be beneficial then :) )

    • You are now dead, but just in time a vampire turned you into one of them, and now you’ll have to roam the earth for millenia to come, drinking people’s blood.

      I wish I could think of a good wish.

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      Yay, I’m a vampire !

      Granted, you think of the best wish ever but won’t ever be able to get it granted.

      I wish I were a bird

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Granted, You are immediately plucked, Roasted and stuffed and served for Sunday Dinner.

       

      I wish I had an unlimited amount of Ale.

    • Red Eye Tony
      Participant

      Granted. You are now the owner of unlimited ale. It is stored on another planet, which you cannot reach, and aliens go to this planet, get drunk, and laugh at you and call you bad names.

      I wish I was the very best.

    • Granted, you are the very best. Unfortunatly, the thing you are the very best at is having the worst possible body odour imaginable.

       

      I wish for a cheeseburger and two sodas

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      Granted. You start to eat the cheeseburger and choke on it. Even the two sodas can’t do anything for you.

      I wish I had a great house where I can have fun and do whatever I want.

    • Epsilon V. 2.5
      Participant

      Granted, but after setting up a line of explosives in a new experiment, you forget where the tripwire is and accidentally set everything off, destroying your home of fun and freedom.

      I wish I had a better memory.

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      Granted, you remember of every horrible things that have ever been.

      I wish I hadn’t any problem with OpenGL ES…

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Granted, and it works flawlessly!  but now your CPU is Fried.

      I Wish i could find that perfect Girl……..

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      Granted ! You find the perfect girl and she dies crossing the street, sorry…

       

      I wish I didn’t have to sleep

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Bastard…. -.-  lol

      Granted! but now you go crazy wishing you could dream!

       

      i wish i could live in an anime….(dear god many things could go wrong with this)

    • Granted, but it’s the naughty and very very weird in a bad way kind of anime

       

      I wish I had more courage

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted and you need it as all the critters from Jade Valor’s wish come for you too!

      I wish It was warm in the winter and cold in the summer, but with the same hours of daylight.

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      Granted, but you’re the only one to know and everybody else die freezing the next summer.

      I wish I could have an internet connection at home ;)

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Wish granted…unfortunately its through your phone…and its is as slow as molasses in the arctic circle!

       

      i wish there where more hours in a day….

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      Granted, there are now 48 hours of 30 minutes in a day.

      I wish I had a TV

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but like now there is nothing worth watching on it.

      I wish I had a real Brotherhood of Steel Power suit.

       

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      granted but its neon pink!

       

      wish i had a job cry

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted. but your job is giving jobs to other people, non who are grateful.

      I wish R’lyeh would rise, Cthulhu would awaken and hand out cookies to passing sailors.

       

       

    • Minion
      Participant

      Granted but the cookies taste salty and all the sailors get angry at you.

       

      I wish I could play guitar.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but you can only play the one song.

       

      I wish my sleeping rhythm returned to normal.

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted, but you have no bed

       

      I wish I could time travel

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      Granted ! You travel in time but not in space and pop back in the center of a mountain where you die from suffocation.

       

      I wish I were able to teleport

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted, but you can’t control where you teleport to and always somehow end up squished into a space that’s too small

       

      I wish I didn’t have to wake up alone every morning

       

       

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      granted ! You wake up everymorning with wonderful bed bugs ! =D

      I wish the Unconditional Basic Income will become reality

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted! but it’s £2 an hour

       

      I wish space travel was already here

    • Capitaine Moustache
      Participant

      2 pounds an hour makes about 1440 pounds a 30 day monts, that’s quite good thanks !And even if its 2 pounds an hour for 40 hours a week it’s still something ^.^

      Granted (easy one), space travel is already possible but only if you’re a billionary or work as an astro/cosmo/thatkindofthing-naut :)

      I wish Java didn’t exists :p

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      wish granted! but since you diffident specify, the jinni thinks you mean coffee so now you got everyone including me going out of there mind!  and we know where you live!

       

      i wish i had a job

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted but it is as a volunteer job removing road kill cadavers on Antarctica.

      I wish I lived in a warmer country.

       

    • Granted, but there is a water shortage and you die from dehydration

      I wish I could have had more sleep last night

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Wish Granted, You did sleep well last night, Too well, You have now woken with a vague sense of unease and confusion which haunts you for the rest of the day, even though your not sure why.

       

      I wish My record player worked.

    • Engineer Airhead
      Keymaster

      Wish granted, but it somehow only accepts crappy 40s music and the needle loops itself over and over again.

      I wish the days would go by faster so I wouldn’t have to wait so long until the 7th of December :)

    • Wish granted, days pass by now in a matter of seconds, but so did December the 7th pass. And within a few hours you die of old age.

      I wish I had a pet dinosaur

    • Engineer Airhead
      Keymaster

      Wish granted,

      You now have a pet stegosaurus but it seems to be a little retarded, thinking it’s a cat and all…

      I wish I had my own house :I

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted, you have your own house, but it’s the house from Saw 2 and you can never leave

       

      I wish I wasn’t currently being plagued by Writer’s Block :(

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Wish granted! you are a writing machine…but now you get no sleap because the ideas plague you untill you go insane!

       

      i wish i had some pie rght now!

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Wish grated, You now have some Pi

       

      I wish I could function the the little amount of sleep I get every night.

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted, but you function as a brain devouring zombie

       

      I wish I was The Doctor’s companion ^_^

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Granted, You are expected to attend surgery at 0800 tomorrow to assist with a double heart bypass.

       

      I wish my company was stable.

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted, it’s now full of horses!

       

      I wish I could eat whatever I want and never put on any weight

    • Corporal Frost
      Participant

      Wish granted! You’re now an acidic cloud

      I wish I could will food into existance

    • Wish granted, but all the food you bring into existance is 2 months over its expire date…

      I wish I could fly

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but you can only fly in one direction, up.

      I wish eggs were cheaper.

    • Corporal Frost
      Participant

      Wish granted, but they all hatch within three seconds of purchase. 

      I wish I was fireproof

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted, but you now have a severe allergic reaction to water and dirt

       

      I wish I owned a Domesticated Saarloos Hound

    • Corporal Frost
      Participant

      Wish granted, but it only takes commands in ancient sanskrit

       

      I wish I had perfect directional sense 

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted, but you can no longer turn left

      I wish I had an Xbox One

    • Granted, but you have only the xbox, no controllers, connection cables or games.

       

      I wish they switched around the weekend with workdays, so we have 5 days free, and 2 to work.

    • Corporal Frost
      Participant

      Wish granted, but You work in a time dilation factory, so you’re two days of work takes two weeks. Also, your time away from the factory warps time around you and your days off take one hour each day.

       

      I wish I could retain everything I learn

    • Jade Valor
      Participant

      Wish granted, but your now a paraplegic.

       

      Wish i could have met Dr.steel….

    • Corporal Frost
      Participant

      Wish granted. You get to meet Dr. Chip Steel, a cosmetic dentist from Maryland

       

      I wish I had mechanical genius and could fix/make anything mechanized.

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Wish granted, but you are now incompetent in pretty much every other field imaginable

       

      I wish I could be The Doctor’s companion

    • Corporal Frost
      Participant

      Wish granted, but you get irreversibly turned into a cyberman five minutes in. Your new name is Handles :)

       

      I wish I had a lifetime supply of Ducttape

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted! But it’s an ant’s lifetime supply so you only get 3 months worth

       

      I wish I never got ill

    • Granted but you go bald and smelly.

       

      I wish I could fly

    • Granted, but you collide with an airplane.

      I wish I had some inspiration for a better wish…

    • Granted, but it makes you impotent. Plus, the wish still isn’t all that good.

       

      I wish I could turn back time

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Granted, you can now turn back time, but are doomed to repeat the mistakes you have already made.

       

      I wish everything goes well in mine and Lt. Grimms new jobs!

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted but the rest of your lives fall to pieces

       

      I wish I lived in Scotland where all the ginger women are

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, only for you to find out the good-looking ginger women moved to Ireland two weeks earlier.

       

      Wish this job hunt finally gave off some fruit.

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted, you are now swimming in a sea of apples

       

      I wish my life was like a comic book

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but it’s a story based on Lovecraft.

       

      I wish I could go to the MCM in may (but that seems very unlikely now.)

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Granted, UK soldiers ply you with alcohol and you fall in the Thames

       

      I wish i knew what was wrong with my knee.

    • Granted, but as soon as you know, you forget again, causing you to learn and forget it all over again. This eventually leads to early alzheimer’s disease.

       

      I wish for an infinite pasta supply

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Granted, you now have a Jar with a single piece of pasta in it, which reappears once eaten.

       

      I wish this wish would work….

    • This wish works amazingly well, so well it seems to be alive and fueled by… MURDEROUS RAGE!!! It chops off all of Brigadier Davis’ limbs, and leaves him behind bleeding.

      I wish I could expand my brain with extra memory and processing power. 

    • Granted, but you must also increase skull size, which leaves you deformed and grotesque

       

      I wish for A SHRUBBERY

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      You receive a Herring.

      *inserts a packet of crackers*

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      -You receive a post  it note asking you to politely post in the correct forum-

       

      I wish me and grimm  can both find a nice house to live in in Reading

       

    • Granted, but by a weird spatial anomaly, it is also in New Jersey

       

      I wish for a strawberry cheesecake

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted but it’s the last piece of food you will ever get

       

      I wish payday would hurry up and arrive

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      *granted* You payday arrives on the same day your company declares bankruptcy, unfortunately you are not paid

       

      I wish I had an awesome laptop

    • Granted, but due to taxes, you end up owing the state money

       

      I wish for skill in playing chinese instruments

    • Corporal Frost
      Participant

      Granted, but you can seem to only play Rick Astley’s “Never gonna give you up”

       

      I wish I had a suit made from the softest silk

       

       

    • The DoctorDoth'Rah
      Participant

      Granted but the silk is so unbelievably soft that you’re incapable of doing anything other than stroking that luxuriously soft material while wearing it

       

      I wish I wasn’t so socially anxious

    • Travellar
      Participant

      And you are now trapped alone in a cave forever.  Don’t worry, there’s noone to be anxious of here.

      I wish the dog would stop taking up so much space on the bed.

    • Brigadier Davis
      Participant

      Granted, You now have no bed.

       

      I wish I didnt require sleep

    • Granted, you are now merely pathologically addicted to it, withdrawal and all.

       

      I wish I had more resources for my creative projects.

    • Travellar
      Participant

      Verywell, your former workspace is now COMPLETELY PACKED with all sorts of seemingly useless items, bound to give you that spark of creativity you were looking for!  Why right here’s two random items which have fallen into an intriuging shape, and right there is the canvas to paint the idea upon!  Your easel is in the back corner, and your paints are… well, in there somewhere.  I think your brushes are possibly being crushed under the acetelene tanks over there…

      I wish this wasn’t so easy.  Oops.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Instead of typing anything on your keyboard, you now have to discover the keys you wish to press, which are scattered across a huge park sized obstacle course made up of big slippery rubber obstacles (see below) and gunk baths which you must transverse in order to reach said keys. Oh yeah, the locations of the keys switches every 30 minutes.

       

      I wish for all politicians in the world to be completely honest for one day and not realize it.

    • Silent Addle
      Participant

      Granted, your new computer now crashes at every n-1 interval, so it will crash in 2 hours 59 minutes 59 seconds, then 2 hours, 59 minutes and 58 seconds, etc..

      This will continue til it reaches 5 minutes, at which point it will revert to 3 hours and start again.

       

      I wish I could cook sushi.

    • Commander Wacken
      Participant

      Granted, but no one can eat your Sushi (not even yourself).

       

      I wish I would be thin.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Granted, but you are so thin your lower half can no longer support your upper half (head, shoulders, arms) And you are in serious danger of snapping. Now you must go through life either lying down unable to move much or spend your waking hours in a metal corset designed to bear your upper half (thing underwire across your entire torso).

       

      I wish gas, water and electric were free.

    • Wish granted, but your rent goes up over 200%

       

      I wish I had a million euros

    • Keptin Alwinn
      Participant

      Wish granted, but the euros are all made out of chocolate.

       

      I wish for a hug.

    • You get a hug, in the face, by an alien facehugger…

      I wish we had weather like this every day and could have bbq’s all year round

    • Silent Addle
      Participant

      Granted, however the delicate balance of the world shifts, not enough rain is failing, crops die out, animals run out of food, humanity is doomed.

      Your last meal is a delicious BBQ though, so you’ve got that going for you.

       

      I wish I had the motivation to do something tonight.

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      Sophie appears with a cattle-prod.

      I wish liquorish was more liked outside The Netherlands.

    • ima weirdo
      Participant

      Granted, but now the Netherlands has no more licorice…at all

       

      I wish i could find myself a good fella

    • Nessie
      Participant

      Granted. Sadly, he can’t find you.

      I wish to see the real loch ness monster

      (And yes i am necromancing on threads ;p)

    • Silent Addle
      Participant

      Granted, you stumble along the street one day, a mysterious fog surrounds you and you find yourself at the graveside of a man long buried, as you brush away the dirt and moss to read his name you find the likeness of Nessie engraved into the headstone.

       

      I wish to be rid of my migraines.

    • Agent Rollo
      Participant

      Granted. Instead of migraines you now get random uncontrollable laugh attacks.

       

      I wish for night vision.

    • Dr. Innovatium
      Participant

      Granted, but you are completely blind at day.

      I wish I was a talented artist.

    • Granted, but your only talented at making “adult” drawings.

      I wish I had a nice girlfriend.

    • Granted.

      Meet your “Nice Girlfriend”: Janet.

      She knows how to listen to you, and rarely has anything negative to say, if anything at all.

      Because she’s the mannequin in the window at the local department store.

       

      I wish…..for more wishes!mrgreen

    • Agent Rollo
      Participant

      Granted, but with that wish comes a compulsive desire to make the same wish again. You become trapped in an endless cycle of wishing for more wishes forever.

       

      I wish for the power of mind reading.

    • Nessie
      Participant

      Granted. You hear everyones thoughts. Always, Constantly. It never stops and drives you insane

      I wish i owned a house in Edinburgh 

    • Granted you own a house in Edinburgh but it’s  haunted, has no roof and is located next to a nuclear power station where strange creatures have been sighted and your neighbours play the same song 24/7 on gigantic speakers 365 days a year.

      And you only have….

      Dial up internet access

       

      I wish I was a better artist

    • Captain Dermut
      Participant

      You become not only one of the best artists in the world, but also one of the world’s prolific. Your work is so good several people believe them to be divinely inspired. The critics are soon burned in the stake and an argument about which of your many pictures is the best degenerates into a full blown holy wall between several factions, which plunges the world into a 3000 year dark age.

       

      I wish more people played these games….

    • Hunter
      Participant

      @Captain Dermut said:
      You become not only one of the best artists in the world, but also one of the world’s prolific. Your work is so good several people believe them to be divinely inspired. The critics are soon burned in the stake and an argument about which of your many pictures is the best degenerates into a full blown holy wall between several factions, which plunges the world into a 3000 year dark age.

       

      I wish more people played these games….  

      Your wish has been granted. Millions of people have created forums for these types of games, large communities have been created and many friends have been made. But at what cost? 99% of the millions of people will become toxic individuals who will have little to no consideration of other people’s desires in said games and start to lose track of the fun that got them into it. In which, over time, will create the most toxic gaming community of all time.

      As for my wish, I wish I can aim better. (Implying that I need better accuracy/aim.)

    • Agent Rollo
      Participant

      Granted. You can aim perfectly now, but whenever you take your aim you forget how to fire the weapon.

      I wish that I was better at drawing hands.

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