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MCM Expo London 2017 After-action report!

Every year for the past 7 years now, Toy Soldiers Unite has been at the MCM Expo in London. It is one of the largest conventions in Europe for everything related to movies, comics, TV, games and more and is regularly attended by over 100,000 guests. This year has been no different.

Our table this year was a smorgasbord of the talents and creations of Toy Soldiers, including masks by Lt. Grimm, paintings by Lt. Sophie, a cornucopia of hama bead accessories by Annelise, and my own Dungeons & Dragons cases, as well as official TSU merchandise. On top of selling things, many came to the table to see TSU itself to get updates on our continued march towards World Domination, and share their own adventures with us. We met new recruits, and were visited by Toy Soldiers from long ago still fighting the good fight with creativity and imagination.

On top of all that, having a table allowed us a perfect vantage point to witness the utterly stunning and amazing cosplays created by thousands! From quick 1 hour costumes, to ones that had been in the works for months and months. The work that had gone into some of these designs bordered on the obsessive, and they were all magnificent. It has added fuel to my own fire to create a cosplay that will blow people away.

Now, witness the power of this fully loaded and operational comic con!

 

The 6th Annual Doo Dah Parade Invasion!

Dec 3, 2015
2

This report just in from: The Sky Marshal

We few, we happy few, we band of Toy Soldiers! TSU invaded the

 

Pasadena Doo Dah parade for the sixth time this past Nov. 22nd! (For those unfamiliar with the parade: it is considered the “twisted sister” of the famous Rose Bowl parade, an irreverent celebration of crazy, eccentric fun, including entries like drivable cupcakes, the Flying Baby Nap-time Aerialists (who launched baby dolls from a bassinet catapult), and a pink Cadillac converted into a drivable hot tub. We are considered veteran crowd favorites, and memorabilia and photos of our group appeared in a museum exhibit of the parade last year!)

Though there were only four of this year, we made the most of it: a number of media were there interviewing and taking photos of us, and we were mentioned in the Los Angeles Times and the Pasadena Independent! We had a lot of fun, and literally passed out boxloads of propaganda (an estimated 1,000-1,200 pieces) to eager parade-goers! Attendees were: techie5ive, who leads the SoCal 1123rd “Fibonacci” Division as well as Division 101, the LA Faults, Nurse Chizel, bravely wearing an all-black zentai suit in this hot event and looking after the Buzzsaw Baby, Sgt. Smiles, our resident Doc clone, and of course The Sky Marshal, who has organized and led this event from day one, representing the 2007th Bakersfield “Ft. Nelson” division this year.

Thank you for the report Jonny, Sky Marshall, YJ! And Thank you ALL for your efforts, TechiefIve, Nurse Chizel and Sgt. Smiles! Great work!! :D

Operation: Attack of the Waterratten at Dutch Comic Con

It all started on Friday morning when I had to pick up Doth’Rah from Schiphol Airport. After a short wait at the arrival gate Doth’Rah stepped through the door and had arrived in The Netherlands for the first time. I had been warned about the events that followed. We were standing in line for the ticket machine to get a train ticket to my hometown, drop off the international visitor’s bag and head to the venue to set up the table. All that was interrupted by the lights suddenly going off. Doth’Rah had warned the night before about some apparent curse he had when traveling, and as it turned out there was a massive power failure 20 minutes after he landed.
After a 4 hour wait we were finally lucky to get the first train to my hometown, turned out after this one it would’ve been another 2 hours.

TrainrideAfter dropping off the bagage and collecting the stuff we needed we went to the venue to prepare the table for Saturday and get our tickets. After we set up we went back to my place to fold and glue cookie boxes.

Mind Control CookiesDyingMuppet picked us up and drove to the venue where Engineer Airhead, Delina and Nurse Shar were already waiting for us. We made our way to the table and set up as quick as we could. We were located next to a Star Wars models and replica stand with a large ATAT model. As they attracted visitors a lot of people saw our stand too and many were interested in what we did. Engineer Airhead was great in answering everyone’s questions and we gave away many propaganda.

Dermut was a monster with handing out propaganda. Before we knew it, 80% of the manifesto’s were gone and while there were many flyers of others thrown on the ground, we only found 4 or 5 of ours.
People loved the cookies, and anyone who stayed longer to talk about what TSU is and of course some of the cute kids visiting with their parents we handed cookie boxes or just a cookie from the large stash we had.

The T.S.O.S.D. corner of the table attracted some people, I explained the water rocket and handed out some T.S.O.S.D. Sky Maps.

Dutch Comic Con table

Hekkers’ kiddo-mead was also quite successful he let a lot of people have a taste of this sweet beverage, and quite a few bottles were sold.

My painted NERF Rampage gun attracted quite a bit of attention too, a lot of people asked if it was for sale. What sorcery is this? I might have to ponder a nerf paint-shop…

After a successful first day we parted ways with Airhead’s gang to our own homes where most of us had the traditional Con-Saturday Toy Soldier Pizza feast. Well, it wasn’t as spectacular as the tower of pizza at MCM London invasions, but we’ll get there in the future!

On Sunday morning we had to make our way by train but all went quite quickly and we were soon back at the table where Airhead was already setting up. We still had to fold and glue the last 10 cookie boxes, which we did behind the booth. Sunday was a little less crowded but a lot of people came over to our table. A few other Con organisers had time to walk around and we were asked for a workshop at a steampunk con, or a booth at other small cons. Sounds good for the future!

Sunday morning shenanigans

I got interviewed, and Airhead got challended by ASNGaming.net and he won a game BETA key. Many people were recruited and a few of the other Toy Soldiers from the #512 showed up and bought some stuff for their uniforms.

We had a lot of fun at the first Dutch Comic Con, and hope that we can invade it again next year!

OPERATION DOO DAHMINATION: The Fifth Annual DOO DAH Invasion!

Nov 18, 2014
3

DooDah 2014

OPERATION DOO DAHMINATION: The Fifth Annual DOO DAH Invasion, was an amazing success! We had people from as far as Buena Park to the south and California City to the north! We all got there a couple of hours early for the traditional Denny’s breakfast. As I was walking into the Denny’s, parade organizer Tom Coston came up to shake my hand and said, “our favorite group is here! You guys really get what we’re all about.”

We found ourselves a place near the back of the parade, but just before the parade was about to step off, Tom and fellow parade organizer Patricia Hurley came and found us and led us to the front of the parade, where we were one of the first to march off (after the “Hello from Doo Dah” guy, Doo Dah parade house band “Snotty Scotty & the Hankies” and the furries group).

My bubble gun ran out of bubble juice just before we stepped off; fortunately, Fester Claus (the Doo Dah parade’s own Uncle Fester, in a Santa suit this year) filled me up from his stash.

The crowd loved us: Nurse Chizel was ever-popular with the giant megaphone, catching tortillas tossed from the crowd, and of course everyone wanted photos of The Sky Marshal and his rack of medals. Interacting and playing with the audience is part of the fun, and of course we handed out BOXLOADS of propaganda! We had so much fun, we went around the parade route a second time! A great time was had by all, and we’re looking forward to Year Six next year!


Thank you The Sky Marshal, YJ for the great report and TechiefIve for the photos!
*salutes* and thank you to everyone who went to Doo Dah this year and for showing such wonderful Toy Soldier Spirit! :D

Toy Soldiers Invade MCM Expo – Shenanigans Committed

Oct 31, 2014
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The MCM Expo in London, is one of the biggest Comic Cons in the world, and as such, as attracted a regular attendance from the Army of Toy Soldiers. LED-Master Gonzo was kind enough to send in a mission report for us to share with everyone.

I woke up early Friday morning at the hostel, having arrived the night before. Had some breakfast and went to wait for the other Toy Soldiers to arrive. When I went outside a bit of “fresh” air I saw Sean and Raptor. Shortly after that, some more soldiers arrived and we had a few drinks and laughs.

Eventually Iron arrived and went to check us in at the hostel, it turned out he had booked the hostel down the road by accident. When we walked down there we ended up in front of a door with a number-coded lock and of course we had not received the access code. Cramped in a tight maze-like corridor we waited for someone to get the staff to open the door for us.

With everything sorted and everybody got their bunks, we got into uniform to head to the Expo.

Luckily there was barely a queue at the time we arrived and could march right on through the entrance. We went for the TSU Booth in the South hall, right across the Steampunk stage and their stand. Also located close to us was the main theatre and the signing tables, so it was an ideal location for us handing out propaganda to the passer-by’s.

Friday being the least visited day, I went around the halls a few times but stayed near the booth for most of the time. Got myself some lovely goggles from the Steampunk stand, they fit really well with the hard-cap!

Afterwards we went back to play Cards Against Humanity in the hostel room. After a lot of laughs and some brilliant combinations it was time to turn in and get some rest before the hot and sold-out Saturday.

We woke up with some NERF darts flying through the room between me, Iron and Mikey. After breakfast, we put on our uniforms again. I have learned from previous visits to dress light, so it was just the basic shirt with patches for me and the engineering hard-cap.

At Expo the queues were insane and the heat even worse. The booth did fantastic! We sold not only the normal patches and pins, but also masks and earrings by Lt. Grimm, bandana’s and paintings by Lt. Sophie, chainmaille wristbands by Sniper3D and of course my LED logo’s as well!

On the Saturday afternoon there was a nice little rap-workshop hosted by Professor Elemental on the stage right across our booth, it was great fun! I met with the good Professor and looted some of his comic books, all rather splendid! After this I went to the other hall to pay a visit to Doctor Geof, also a rather splendid fellow who was pondering to declare war on us, but then he figured we’d be better off as allies, then we talked about quantum mechanics for half an hour, awesome!

Saturday ended with the traditional huge turniping tower of pizza and drinks outside. There was a lot of singing, dancing and other random shenanigans throughout the evening. When we got back at the hostel, we celebrated Iron’s birthday for which Lt. Grimm had baked a tasty cake we all enjoyed, some turned in, the rest of us went to the pub. The night was good!

Somewhere along the Friday evening I got wounded, what first felt like a pulled muscle turned out to be a bruised rib. Sunday for me was a day of pain, but I pulled through.
This time I didn’t forget to bring the T.S.O.S.D. patches and they were swiftly put on sale at the booth, they sold very well.

Sunday was filled with shenanigans and handing out massive amounts of Propaganda. I got myself one of Sophie’s paintings. Failed to get a picture with Robert Picardo thanks to queueing at the ATM and crowdedness and distractions.
Afterwards, we went to our regular spot outside, had some more drinks and shenanigans. I had a small booklet I handed out to everyone to write me something to read at home. I had an extra day in London, so I went along touristing through the city with the remaining soldiers. After our goodbyes, I instantly missed everyone already, see you in 7 months, London!

It was the best MCM London Comic Con for me so far, as they say: Third Time’s the Charm!

2014 Autumn Mondocon TSU invasion!!

Oct 24, 2014
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Mondocon-invasion autum-banner

Mission report

We wanted to make something different than the usual mission reports, so this time, we not just made a simply report. We made a video for you to all the Toy Soldiers. The 2014 Fall’s Mondocon invasion, by the Hungarians. I hope you will like it!

But we don’t want to leave you without pictures, do we? :3

Here is the table we got and the way we decorated it.

Opposing to our expectations, we had visitors. Quite a lot, actually.

Some of them became Toy Soldiers instantly and helped us in the work.

We also had some fun moments.

And this is our little team in the end of the first day.

10703858_850148948363357_3927692334186188224_n

And that’s all for now.
Thanks for all participant Toy Soldiers, and the Mondocon Staff for the table!
Toy Soldiers:
Col. Helix Narr
Prof. Sorler
Esis
Kyuvine Emerald
Mw
Dr. Bear
MeloBee
Kelpi
Professeur Main Géante
Last, but not least, every freshly registered Toy Soldier!

Mission Report: BUCK ’14 Infiltration

BUCK '14 Infiltration

Mike Mcnanner here! I’m pleased to report that my solo-infiltration of the BUCK 2014 brony convention in Manchester, England, was a success. Hardly a surprise, given that bronies are known for being fun, creative and just a little bit insane. In other words, the ideal Toy Soldier!

While there were a few hiccups in the preparations for the infiltration (Namely not being able to get a table-application in on time), it still went well. With a placard strapped to my back, a stack of leaflets, and a Fluttershy pony plushie dressed in her own little TSU uniform, I went into the con, and came out with the names and emails of 28 bronies who were interested in becoming new recruits! I’ll shortly be sending them a welcoming letter and directing them to the website.
As well as recruiting and propagandising (If that isn’t a word yet, I’m making it a word), I also sat in on some panels, got some autographs, some loot, took part in some workshops and got my ass thoroughly handed to me in several rounds of the MLP trading card game (which is alot more complex and difficult than you’d expect of this franchise), and rocked out for 2 nights in a row to some pretty solid brony-music. All in all, a pretty solid convention weekend! And if BUCK 2015 does indeed happen (they’re still not certain they can get the money or manpower again next year, but we live in hope), I know I’ll be applying for a table the moment applications open!
Please excuse the rather mediocre camera quality in the photos. I was wielding a cameraphone, and only now do I realise in hindsight that I should have brought my SLR camera. And I would have gotten more photos, but I was just having too much fun!Mcnanner over and out.

2014 Summer Mondocon Toy Soldier Invasion!!

Jul 27, 2014
4
Mondocon invasion banner

Mondocon invasion banner

Mission report!

We met with our fellow soldiers at 10:15. We greeted the freshly enlisted members.

pic 1
Pic 2

Luckily we had a few more uniform parts on us, so we could raise our numbers up to 2 soldiers, 2 engineers and a nurse and She joined later on in the progress of the invasion. We started to make propaganda. We had the papers and scissors, so it was about time to pick up our uniforms, and give every soldier the proper amount of propaganda.

Pic 3

At first, we have dealt with a little problem with the tribution…

Pic 4

But I explained where is the right side is. ^^

Pic 5

But finally prepared…

Pic 6

And the invasion started.
The first inquiring man was Darth Maul itself.
He got his propaganda and agreed to take a photo with me. The others were a bit shy at first.

Pic 7

First we were hunting League of Legends champions.
Lucky enough, Jinx and Caitlyn shown no resistance.

Pic 8
Pic 9

And as we marched forward it was only a matter of time that we find the signs of another army. It was the 501st legin of the stormtrooper army. We finally got an agreement. The Galaxy is theirs, the World is ours.

Pic 10
Pic 11

Our professor happened to find an ancient warrior. He was searching for an army, or something. We sent him back to his time. He was thankful, and promised to help us in the propaganda in
his own millennia.

Pic 12

In the way we find another survivor. We told him about the best place in the ruined land…The Utopian Playland!

Pic 13
Pic 14

But some think we are evil… So we made proof we are friendly and good men! Everyone loves animals, as we are! :3

Pic 15

To our big supprise, someone was looking for us. The translation of the sign is: ‘We are looking for idiots!’

Pic 16

But the con was about to end, and we still had many propaganda in us. Luckily, here came the con train! People were happy to take one of our leaflets or manifestos.

Pic 17

The invasion was a big success! #1115 already have 4 new soldiers by this time.

Mission report by:
Toy Soldier Helix Narr

Participant soldiers:
‘Helix Narr’ Ádám Vanyó
‘Sorler’ Krisztián Pintér
‘Dante’ Máté Barkóczi
‘Sefi’ Gergely Sefcsik
Csilla Molnár

Operation: MCM Expo London, England…A Success!

Jun 18, 2014
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London MCM Expo Comic Con Banner

MCM banner
As many of you know we recently had a huge event in London, England. Many of our soldiers attended!
If any of you would like to send in a story of this event I will gladly add it to this blog. So feel free!;)
After much prodding this story was sent in from Engineer Airhead!

So yes, a story…
Might be a bit late but yeah… This so called meatspace was asking a lot of time from me.
I HAVE STUFF TO DO OKAY!!!

Anyway, first time going to a big convention, first time leaving the country without any guidance.
Chaos assured!
Although, it could have gone worse… I guess…

We start our adventure, on a Thursday evening, flying over to UK at around 21:30 local time.
And arriving at the hostel at around 00:30 (tip #1: Take the train from Stansted Airport, It’s faster!).
After waking up half of the room we had to rent on our own (a room on the third floor), we went downstairs for a drink and a chat. Before going back upstairs and waking up the room again.
It took some time for me to fall asleep though… Seems like London doesn’t fall asleep till around 04:00 and wakes up at 06:00 (tip #2: They give away earplugs at the reception FOR FREE!)

After the first night, we enjoyed free breakfast, followed by second breakfast (a routine that went on for most of the weekend) like the hobbits that we are!
We had to skip out on elevensies, luncheon and afternoon tea though in order to get our suitcases back downstairs whilst waiting for the rest of the soldiers to get to the hostel.
It wasn’t until this point that we realized that Silent and Sophie were in the hostel as well during the night (tip #3: Get your data straight before going somewhere or you might miss out on your companions)

Whilst waiting for Iron “responsible” Davis (we had to replace Dutch during this con for reasons) to get us back into another room (this time on the first floor) and giving us the basic information for the weekend. (he had the tickets, we had to listen).
We unpacked (again), organized a bit, got dressed up and went out to the expo center in the afternoon for our first day of epicness!

It’s a good thing the tickets were already being paid for and printed out, the line for the wristbands wasn’t that bad in comparison to the other lines. It was even worse on the Saturday (but we’re getting there as the story goes).
Once tagged by the expo crew (nice wristband guys, very uncomfortable) and inside of the main hall, it was a feast on the eyes!
All those people, who spend days upon days trying to get their cosplays done in time.
I almost felt under-dressed. It was a good thing that it didn’t take long for the first Attack on Titan cosplayer (an actual Titan) to pass by in only his underwear. My doubts were gone and I knew that there was nothing wrong with my uniform!

Now, the main parts of getting inside, tagging people, finding people, losing them again and taking photos with more random people went on for the entire event.
I’m not going to bother you with all the details, it was basic con stuff for the most of it.
What I am going to bother you with on the other hand (I should keep note on my own story line for the next thing I write) Is with the highlights that happened in between the con moments (the rides, the nights and the after parties).

To start this list:

Every morning, WAKEUP CALL!!!
Because we took the nerf guns with us for a reason!
Having had target practice, the weekend before (As I said, we had to replace Dutch because of reasons) it didn’t take long for the first victims to get hit.

On second place:
Sunday night, PIZZA PARTY!!!
Because of the rain on Saturday (which made me realize why Comic Con is also known as Line Con) we had to move the pizza party to the Sunday.
This didn’t take away any of the fun though!
Also, it was the first time I saw so many pizzas on a bench.
Best thing about this, was the generosity of the TSU to give away the remaining pizza when everyone was done eating.
Although, it could have gone a bit better, the result was awesome! (all the pizza was gone at the end of the evening, that’s what counts).

And in first place:
Every big invasion requires some sort of sacrifice.
And we salute our own JD for getting his body between the sub’s doors in order to get everyone on the subway.
Was it worth the pain? He didn’t say…
Was it worth the delay? We’ll never know…
Was it worth the laughs? Yes and all the jokes related to it!
(tip #4: When in doubt, put JD in between the doors and you’ll be fine!)

I have to say, it took some time getting used to the many strange things in London.
Like strange money, strange traffic laws, strange directions.
But with the best of the best around me, it wasn’t half as bad as it could have been.
11/10 would go again.

Now… If only I could get the monies for it in time… Perhaps a summer fundraiser?

Thank you for that delightful story Airhead! Glad you all had fun!
For more information and comments about this event please check out the thread:
MCM London Expo May 2014 – Operation: Back to Basics
There are tons of photos of this event out there. You can check out many of them in our Toy Soldier Gallery!
MCM Expo in the gallery

We have another entry to this MCM Event from: YJ Lieutenant JDUK …gonzo journalism style! ;)

Fear and Loathing in London MCM Expo
I awoke one morning to find a message, a reminder on my smart phone telling me that there was an event. I opened the message to find it say MCM Expo, London, 23rd-25th of May 2014 BOOK TICKETS NOW. Well considering my manager had been biting my ass for a story for the last couple of days, I thought that this would be the perfect time to find one. I called my attorney who went by the name of Airhead who advised me to pack a bag with everything I needed then head on over there.
The great hike to this heralded place was fraught with dangers, you would say its like any other commute to the city but it was full of lookyloos all standing slack jawed staring, I remember thinking “God dame idiots have not taste in shirt” or was I thinking, I had no idea whether or not what was in my head or out my mouth. I needed to find shelter, I needed to concentrate on getting to this expo and away from Jo public, his thousand eyes and his dog, God I hate that dog.
I found myself in this twisted hybrid of the subway and a train, they called it the DLR. God knows why they called it that, all I knew is it was a fine piece of public transportation yes sir. Feeling safe, I stuck my eyes to the window as the carriage pulled up to Custom house. ALL OF A SUDDEN there was a terrible whiny/ whooping sound and what looked like huge herbivorous equestrian humanoids came swooping and jumping around the station and then I heard a voice screaming JESUS CHRIST WHO ARE THIS GOD DAME PONY BOYS.
I stumbled out of the door in a daze, frantically trying to collect my thoughts. Like I was stuffing them into the crumpled blue plastic bag I brought with me on the trip, as if they were fragmented mementos of a curious mind…..
The bag contained everything I needed. Two Dominican cigars, a hip-flask of port, camera, matchers, a whole rainbow of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers, cigar cutter, bottle or rum, case of beer, and a bunch of cash. Most of this stuff didn’t exists of course but when you get locked into a serious Hunter S Thompson impression, the tenancy is to ham it up as much as you can.
The only thing that really worried me was bumping into more Thompson’s. There is nothing in the world more outrageous and irresponsible and narcissistic then a man in the deeps of a fly swat duel with himself, and I’d knew I’d get myself into that rotten situation soon enough.
This was the brutish time of 2014, four years after the “naughty’s” were let out to pasture with the coming of the teenage years of the new millennia, a time of falling political giants, new rule that may or may not be wanted and ears made by a newfangled 3-D printer. Strange and scary times but not without its wonder. I found myself asking why am I here? what did it all mean? what was the score here and who’s god dame idea was it to wear slacks and a polyester summer shirt in this British climate?
The reason was simple to find the facts, to find the expo dream.
I found myself in what you Brits call a queue, personally I see it as an oppression of the soul but I struggled with it and suffered in my journey to find the expo dream, leaving no stone or business card unturned. BECAUSE THATS PROPER JOURNALISUM DAME IT!!! gonzo journalism; I invented it, have you heard of it you New York Times jackasses!!!! Where was I, oh yeah I was queueing for what seemed like days, I was told from my sources that previously Expoians used to line up inside the building but this time we where made to queue outside. Luckily I had the weather on my side so I came out fine, well externally any ways.
My weekend pass, a piece of paper that seemed so precious, a key to this alternative kingdom of nerdom and geekary. It said priority on it, I thought “why do I have priority? aren’t we all equal when we finally lay bare in front of our maker and face the beginning of the end? Why is it that because I went on the Expo’s website and pre-booked a ticket means I’m higher on the pecking order?” The women who finished attaching my armband looked perplexed as she hit a speed bump in the mandatory of her morning…. Dame it! thinking aloud again, I need to stop that.
I meet up with Airhead my attorney and members from the Army of Toy Soldiers, a hard working group that fell on hard times but where still going strong. All in all I thought they where as crazier than a sake load of drunk monkeys so it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to see why I found them so appealing.
One thing that bothered me was the guards. There is an occupation that ranged from fine to barbarous, loud mouth sapien who though if they shout at the public long enough, they would do what they where telling them to do (even though the majority of them where already) It seemed like I was in an alternative world, a cross between a county fair and a high security prison although the sheep dogs where wardens and the prisoners where sheep, being shoved over and around hurdled. You show your security pass a thousand times but you still get bite. I’m not a sheep, nope no sir, expo put down the sheers!
The group wondered around the bustling stalls, occasionally approached asking for photography’s. Clearly my Journalism is prevalent in this country, however comment where made like “this is bat country” these people are trying to use my phobia of bats against me or am I just being paranoid?. They followed up with things like “hay cool costume” COSTUME? I’m not wearing a god dame costume, what the hell are you talking about? The only costume I’m wearin is a mask, a veal that every hard workin Civilian wears. The mask of freedom as we try to chisel some sort of existence in this bureaucratic hell hole we call life.
We went back outside to see what the score was and see what the comparison was like. The result where hard to say for as soon as we arrived outside, we where requested to meet people in a near by hotel while they got into costume. Without warning, hail stones ripped through the sky like little icy bullets descending on the unsuspecting crowd.
I have never seen a body of people so large,scramble so fast, it was like firing buckshot over head of a flock of feeding city pigeons. The scene was spectacularly dramatic. What was worse was the fact they all had to queue up outside again in order to get into the shelter of the Expo as they got pelted with hail. Noah and his ark had nothing on this. That day I could foresee a wave of correspondence to Expo HQ demanding a change in the entry and exit system in one giant unified fuck you.
After the worst of the rain had cleared, we headed back. Getting into the expo was a daunting task but not so daunting as passing the queue of poor souls who had yet to get there ticket, walking pass the never ending hoard as it snaked around the riverbank. Their wet faces twisted with the battling emotion of excitement and over whelming boredom. Thinking “my fellow Expo comrades, I used to be like you, I feel your pain”, I felt what theses poor bastards where going through, every single one of their thoughts and feelings where recycled versions of mine own from a few hours ago, it was so strong that it was almost palpable.
Waiting in the weekend pass queue I found a rugged stranger who looked exactly like me…. wait he was me, either this guy is an imposter or I have taken something I really shouldn’t. Fly swat in hand I pursued this double-ganger and pressed him about his identity. He seemed as startled as I when I
confronted him. We where exactly alike, the only differences was he was shorter than me and I had the beginnings of 5 O’clock shadow.
We had a heated debate and crossed words. Words flew like sparks until it got to much and swats where drawn, we duelled, flailing our fly swats around like cutlasses. It was a grueling battle full of grit and testosterone. The people around us laughed hysterically, they where under the impression that we were two guys in costumes pissing about for everyone’s enjoyment but I can assure you it was a very serious ordeal.
Exhausted we agreed we where equally matched. I lost him after that but I was pretty darn sure it wasn’t the last I’d see of that wily son of a gun. True enough the next day I say him and chased him for several minutes, I had to be dragged away only to find yet another double-ganger, I saw a total of three other me’s and I can tell you, nothing in the world could compare to that kind of mind screw.
Over the duration of Expo I saw a great many weird things, everything the brain could muster was there; from Deadpools to steampunks and Miku Hatsune guys and stormtroopers. I was plunged into new found knowledge like= A pokeball was what they told me, a vessel fro strange creatures…. this truly is a terrible drug.
We decided to retire for the day so we took that fine piece of public transport to somewhere called Canning town, they said we need to take something called “the Tube” in order to get back. I felt
this great feeling of terror as what I could only describe as a giant snake with a hundred jaws that ran along its entire body, side winded its way into the station. My fellow friends entered one of its gaping jaws, I noticed some slower members. I tried to stop the jaws from closing so my they too could get in because this clearly was some kind of sacrifice to this benevolent god. I think I displeased my comrades because I faced myself with them shouting JD GET ON THE GOD DAMN TRAIN.
Who was this JD? Did they think I was that Johnny Depp guy?
To my surprise, we where spat out at London Bridge and hurried over to the nearest pub for sustenance and booze. We burst in there and said “you god dame bastards get out there and kill a cow, we’re not your run of the mill pub goers, we want steak”…. well maybe we didn’t say that word for word maybe I’m paraphrasing or maybe I’m extenuating the truth, or maybe I am flipping it up, spinning it round and tickling it under the chin, all I know is you probably haven’t got this far, gave up reading and done something better with you life like watch cat videos.
I learnt one very importance thing that night= You can turn your back on a person but never turn your back on a toy soldier, especially when its waving a razor sharp steak knife in your eye.
I was right in the middle of a TSU zoo, and somebody was giving steak and booze to these god damn things. Won’t be long now before they ripped me to shreds. I ate my steak and high tailed it out of their before things got hairy.
I saw that the night before had affected the final day. Chaos I tell ya, within the same hour I was nearly strangled by Airhead with his own TSU flag without any cause. I still don’t know if the bastard was trying to be symbolic in some kind of righteous statement of an death of an event compiled with the death of a guy going to the event. Or whether he just finally had enough of this asshole doing a terrible impression of Hunter S Thompson err I mean Me….. Anyways.
I managed to fight him off and was set upon by Batman. I should have known better, I had full recollection that it was Bat Country. I tried to fight him off with my fly swat but it clearly wasn’t up to the task (note: buy a better fly swat). Broken, I found comfort with the TSU and remained with
them for the rest of the time. I joined them with there traditional singing and
rite of the pizza where hoards of pizza boxes filled out little camp outside.
My time with the Toy soldiers came to a close when we said goodbye at the tube station, it was a sad occasion, not only for the fact I wont be seeing these bunch of crazies till October but I had no idea if I’d have the same luck when facing off with that demi god named “tube”
I learnt a great many things during my time with the Toy Soldiers but to sum up,
“when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro”
Hunter. S. Thompson
(YJ Lieutenant JDUK)
May 2014

Operation: MotorCity ComicCon…A Success!

May 23, 2014
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Motorcity Comic Con 2014 banner

Motorcity banner

Operation: MotorCity Comicon…A Success!
This event took place in Novi, Michigan the weekend of May 16th, 17th and 18th, 2014.
The convention held over 40,000 attendees and 4 of them were Toy Soldiers!

It started the preceding Thursday when Nurse Budgie and her brother Gabe flew in from Seattle to arrive at the hotel near by the Con. There arrival was met with a bit of a surprise as the room they were assigned to was preoccupied. o.o..I will let her tell that story…
Linden Atrocity and myself joined them at the same hotel the following Friday evening. They had already been to the Con that day and were quite tired but, they got up from a short nap to join us for dinner! We went to the hotel’s posh dinning room. We didn’t stay that long as we quickly discovered it was not our cup of tea. (actually if they served tea it was probably $20 a cup!) As we were going through the restaurant we saw Tommy Flanagan from the hit TV show Sons of Anarchy. We were a bit in aw to see such a star there at the same hotel.
Next we went to the Restaurant “The Tilted Kilt” and the ladies there definitely had tilted kilts and put the Hooters girls to shame! The food was delicious and the place was roaring with activity! We jokingly said “Wouldn’t it be funny if Tommy Flanagan came strolling in” …Then as we were wrapping up our dinner..in walked Tommy Flanagan! We all busted laughing! And really what a suitable place for this Irish man to be. Gabe joked he was stalking us!
Later on that evening we went back to the hotel for some drinks and laughs. We had a great time telling stories and getting to know each other.
Saturday morning we headed to the ComicCon! We got there early and had some fun chatting with other awesome people waiting to get in. After a short wait we started walking around and checking out all the cool toys and famous celebrities there. Yes I got to see John Barrowman!:D Linden Atrocity got to meet his favorite Comic Book artist Ryan Ottley and get a signed poster from him. I slipped him some propaganda while we were there as he seemed interested in our organization ;)
After a little while there we spotted another soldier in the crowd. It was Commodore Wolf!! We joined him in strolling around the con and talking about toys and games and such. It was a great time getting to know him as well!
As we were walking around I tapped on Gabe’s shoulder and said..”hey look there is Tommy Flanagan!” He was just strolling around the con, stalking us hehe!;)
We left that afternoon very happy we got to attend this ComicCon and meet everyone! Budgie and her brother stayed for the next day’s events and got to see the panel with John Barrowman, which I hear was fantastic! She has now safely returned home in Seattle and is settling back in.
All in all the weekend was great! Although these times with my fellow Toy Soldiers never seem long enough! I do hope we can get together again soon!
To A Utopian Playland!!

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