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On the Eighth day of Toymas – Dr. Malice

1 9 years ago

Band Practice


The sound, which came from the PSIOPS sector of The Bunker, echoed through each corridor hall as if it originated from that spot. The Absinthetic Orchestra, having just reunited after a short break, was in the middle of a jam session when suddenly Dr. Malice slammed his hands on the keys of his keyboard, signaling a sudden stop to the rest of the band.

“What the hell are we doing?”, he asked the rest of the band.

“Jamming, writing songs, working on the next album.” said Zom, the bass player.

“Yes, I know that, but do you realize what month it is?” The band looked around at each other, then at their personal communication devices, then back at each other, and in one voice said, “December, Dr. Malice”

“That’s right! Did anyone remember to prepare some new riffs for Toymas?” They all shook their heads. “No? Damn it.”

Dr. Malice went over to the Closet-O-Music and turned the dial to Toymas. Having only used the Closet-O-Music a few times in his time in The Bunker, it took a few tries to get it right, but eventually, it worked. (The Closet-O-Music is filled with Public Domain Sheet Music filled away for emergency use for any and every time of year. One can only open the Closet with both a physical key and a retinal scan, but it takes two people to open it.) Dr. Malice called Kahl, the other guitar player over to help him sort through the Toymas themed sheet music.

“No, not this one……No, too traditional……Oh, everyone will be expecting that one….” Finally, Kahl stumbles on a piece that’s been long but forgotten. “Will this work?”

Malice takes the sheet music, and starts pacing the floor, hearing it in his head. The notes dance about through his imagination and his mind starts to go off with the music. This WILL work, he thinks to himself. Malice sets the music down on a separate pile and they continue their search for songs until they come up with 8 selections to choose from.

“We have to choose 5 of these to practice.” said Malice. “But which ones…..”


As the band was deep in thought about what songs to practice, the hamsters were scurrying away while carrying on with their preparations. And as they were, they sang as strange little tune that echoed through the vents. Tourch, the drummer of the band, hear the strange song first. He motioned to Kahl, who motioned to Zom, who motioned to Malice. Soon, they were all listening to the song, with ears pressed firmly against the wall. Malice got an inspired idea.

“Gentlemen, Here’s the song order…“

After writing out the song order on a white board and having a general discussion with the band about arrangements and orchestrations, everyone got to work on the one song that stuck out to them the most: The Hamster’s Toymas Song. Everyone remembered the song, as if it was as old as “Happy Birthday to You”, so it was no problem to write down. Little did they know, but they had a visitor during the composition session.

One of the hamsters had stayed behind to keep an eye on the band to see what they were up to. When he heard them start to play the Hamster’s Toymas Song, he got giddy with excitement and ran to tell the others. A plan was starting to form in his tiny rodent brain.

As the composition session came to a close Dr. Malice spoke up.

“Ok. We’ve been working on this song for 4 hours now. I think we’re done with it. What do you guys think?”

The rest of the band nodded their heads in agreement. Kahl unplugged his guitar and leaned it on its stand while Zom turned off his bass amplifier. Tourch stood up from his drum kit, stretched, and put his sticks on the snare and said, “You guys wanna head over to the Cantina?”

The rest of the band agreed, and headed out the door.

As soon as he made sure that they were gone, the hamster, who had returned with help in tow, told the others about his plan. In squeaks that no human can understand, he told Battalion 1 to grab the sheet music for The Hamster’s Toymas Song, Battalion 2 to grab guitar strings for the robots, and Battalion 3 to grab the drum sticks from the drum set. With these things, the hamster’s will have music for their Toymas Party, however he had one more stop to make.

The hamster who discovered the musicians ran through internal corridor after internal corridor until finally he came to a huge room filled with all sorts of automatic music machines. Up on a stage, he saw a robot band that had been through their emergency deactivation process (when someone interrupts robots having a jam session, they’ll shut down immediately and need manual rebooting).

The hamster went through each and every robot’s wiring and reset their internal jam switch and turned them back on. He explained to them the situation and asked if they could help.


The hamster happily obliged and ran off back towards his Battalions. As he arrived, they were just finishing up and just in to too. Because not too far up the corridor, walked Dr. Malice & The Absinthetic Orchestra, full of whatever the Cantina had provided for them for dinner, and ready to get back to work.

They opened the door to their studio, went to their stations and…….

“Wait….didn’t we have our sheet music on the stands here?” Zom inquired to Malice.

“Yeah. I can’t find mine, either. How about you Kahl?”

Kahl shuffled his music around for a bit, looking for the Hamster’s Song, but to no avail.

“Nope. It’s gone!”



  1. Captain Dermut

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