B.O.R.I.N.G. Inc.

Reports are surfacing about a new start-up business that has their employees in a state of constant trance. Their office buildings are popping up in forests around the world. These worrying events have been documented by
Captain C. Worthy and his crew.

Sources confirm the employees act like mindless drones, their only purpose is to find a desk with a computer and paperwork on it, and work, work, work. No breaks in between, unless the employee has to obey their bodily functions.

Food breaks? Ha! Either the employee has lunch at their desk quietly with no food odours tolerated, or use the company preferred option to feed at home with the company provided: “Rejuvenation machine.” – A device that gives your body just the right amount of nourishment to get you through your workday. –

A standard workday is 10 hours, which leaves the employee with 1 hour for cooking & feeding activities and 3 hours for other family activities and then straight to bed. With an 8 hour sleep/rejuvenation routine and 2 hours in the morning to wake-up and get ready and fit to work another day.

It is suspected that the company uses an alternative recipe of the Army of Toy Soldiers’ mind control cookies. The employees seem completely focussed on just the cause of business. The Toy Soldier fabricated cookies slightly nudge you to have fun but these really seem to control the mind of the employee.

Captain C. Worthy and Mister I managed to capture and enlist one of the employees, but the staff at Gonzo Enterprises is still awaiting lab results and additional data on the subject for further review.

This story first appeared on Gonzo Enterprises